Being single on Valentine's Day is a lot like being Amish in America, which is to say you are rendered completely irrelevant. You're a roadside freak show, a meaningless distraction for gawking tourists who drive by almost mockingly to ponder your...
People often ask me, "Adam, what's the hardest part about being such a sophisticated gadabout with a head of hair that'd make a Beatle cry and the alcoholism of an Irish playwright?" A great question. The hardest part is having to put up with peop...
Not many people know this about me, because, well, I don't like to talk about it much: I used to be a Mouseketeer. But I was chewed up and spat out of the Disney machine faster than an ill-conceived Parisian theme park. I started out on Kids Incor...
Well, hello there. Nice to see you again. Man, it feels like it's been forever. Hey, how did everything work out with old what's-her-name? You know who I'm talking about — that one girl with the great rack but who could never shut up even th...
13 years ago | Longform
Transubstantiation was what did it for Nate Lappegaard. Raised within the strict dogma of the Catholic Church, Lappegaard was fifteen years old when he argued with a priest over whether he was really consuming the body and blood of Christ during C...
13 years ago | News
The whining starts about 5:30 a.m. — a slow, heartbreaking cry from the crate at the foot of my bed that I can usually silence by screaming "No!" as loud as I can, then collapsing back into my pillow. (The neighbors probably think that the c...