Listen, before I breakdown rap's worst lyrics, you should know, I don't hate Lil' Wayne. No, really. I like him just fine. But even good rappers get caught slipping, as evidenced by the fact that Lil' Wayne makes several appearances on this list. And while picking low-hanging fruit is the nature of the game here, I've attempted to at least avoid those that are already stuck on the ground. Keep reading for the first ten of the fifty worst rap lyrics of all time.
50. M.I.M.S. - "This is Why I'm Hot"
"I'm hot cuz I'm fly. You ain't cuz you not."
Hey, Mims. Not fair. You at least have to explain to me why I'm not hot, so that I can correct my behavior and someday become, you know, hot.
49. MC Hammer - "Pumps and a Bump"
"I don't like 'em figgity fat, I like 'em stiggity stacked/You wiggity wiggity wack if you ain't got biggity back."
You know what's wiggity wack? This liggity line. Thank giggity God this trend diggity died diggity decades ago. In figgity fact, if I never hear rhyming like this again, unless it's for a Das EFX reunion, it'll be too siggity soon.
48. Ice Cube - "It Was a Good Day"
"And my dick runs deep, so deep/So deep put her ass to sleep,"
Ice Cube has been with a lot of ladies, so it's possible that he knows something that we don't, but generally putting her ass to sleep is something to avoid mid-coitus.
47. Lil' Wayne - "Goulish"
"Fuck Pusha T and anybody that love him/His head up his ass, I'mma have to head-butt him"
This is the rhyme that Wayne began his Pusha T diss with, so no matter what he said after, he had already lost. Wordplay for the sake of wordplay is like chewing for the sake of chewing.
46. Notorious B.I.G. - "The Ten Crack Commandments"
"Rule nombre uno"
Big is one of the greatest American rappers of all time, but did you know that he's also one of the greatest Spanglish rappers of all time? Sure, "nombre" means "name," but, come on, this is America. If it sounds Spanish and you know what he's trying to say then, functionally, you're speaking the language.
45. Game - "Dreams"
"It's kinda hard to imagine, like Kanye West coming back from his fatal accident to beatmaking and rapping."
Game is referring to the car accident that nearly killed Kanye years ago, the one he talks about in "Through the Wire." But, apparently, Game doesn't know what fatal means. But wait, they do call Kanye Yeesuz... Maybe Game knows something about resurrection that we don't.
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44. Canibus - "Second Round K.O."
"You might got more cash than me, but you ain't got the skills to eat a n***a's ass like me."
Canibus probably meant the word "ass" as a synecdoche, a part for the whole, like "all hands on deck," but the proximity of the words "eat" and "ass" make this line too funny not to ridicule. Or maybe he just really enjoys anilingus.
43. Kitty Pryde & RiFF RaFF - "Orion's Belt"
"Olympic swimmers from Nigeria/Emeralds in my ears, so far from clear cause they resemble frozen lettuce/91 degrees out and buzzin', you ever seen melted lime jello?"
No, the "olympic swimmers from Nigeria" bit isn't referencing some earlier part as far as we can tell, the line just makes that little sense. In truth, we could have picked almost any RiFF RaFF lines, but we decided to go with some of the most dazzlingly absurd.
42. Mac Miller - "Wear My Hat"
"That girl know how to blow something like she played the flute."
Mac Miller, you wordsmith! How did you figure out to connect the blowing of an instrument to the blowing of your instrument? I guess that's why you're the one making number one albums.
41. Will.I.Am - "The Hardest Ever"
"I'ma go hard like a motherfucking boner."
While other rappers were beating around the bush (pun intended) to try to figure out creative ways to say they go hard, Will.I.Am said, "Fuck it. I'ma get straight to the point." (Puns, again, intended.) We were all thinking it, so Will.I.Am said it. Problem?
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