What's cooler than snow? Uh, Ice, of course!

If you let the fat cats over at Google dictate your taste in cinema, then you may have avoided the 1991 romantic classic Cool as Ice (starring Vanilla Ice) for the past two decades. Most Americans think this film is worthy of but one star, when in reality, Cool as Ice deserves at least three stars.

If you haven't seen this cinematic masterpiece, allow us to recap: It's 1991. Ice is a handsome young musician with a devil-may-care attitude. He flows like a harpoon daily and nightly. He can get with all the ladies he wants. Women are lured in by his fanny pack, which acts as a kind of tractorbeam for hot snatch. So okay, you think he's got everything, right? But there's something missing! What he's missing is love. He's missing real, tender human emotion. And that's what this journey is all about. That and sweet dance moves.

See also: The ten best musical motivational messages from the '80s and '90s

KEEP WESTWORD FREE... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Ashley Rogers