On Real Time with Bill Maher, New York Times media writer David Carr suggested those of us living Kansas, Missouri and other "middle places" represent "the dance of the low-sloping foreheads." Afterward, as folks with foreheads of all sizes (even giant ones, like Carr's) debated the wisecrack, he retweeted about him being offered political asylum in eastern Colorado.
Sorry, David: You haven't been.
The Real Time clip has been making the rounds thanks to the efforts of folks like conservative cage-rattler Andrew Breitbart. Check it out.
Sounded like a joke -- but just to be sure, I phoned Jean Hinkle, administrator for Otero County, from which said melons hail. The good-humored Hinkle admitted to being unaware of Carr's "low-sloping foreheads" description. Hence, she says, "Not to my knowledge are we offering him political asylum."
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SHOW ME HOW
That's the bad news. And the good? Hinkle says residents of Otero County would welcome Carr whether he thinks Coloradans are forehead-challenged or not -- and she extends the same invitation to anyone else who'd consider visiting one of the most beautiful places in this fair state.
Of course, not everyone wants to tar and feather Carr for his remark. Consider the Gawker piece "In Defense of Shit-Talking." Moreover, during the 2008 Democratic National Convention in Denver, I joined Carr and Westword editor Patricia Calhoun for lunch, and not once did he denigrate me or my fellow middle-staters for our moronic features. In fact, if I recall correctly, he was jealous of how white my basketball sneakers were.
I'm able to keep them clean because they're always in view, thanks to my low-sloping forehead.