Cafe Society

Candy Girls: Hello Kitty Marshmallow Pop

We're suckers for a beautiful sucker. We can appreciate the way that candy on a stick is both form and function -- a stylish way to eat a favorite treat while keeping your hands free from stickiness. Sadly, this Hello Kitty marshmallow pop, while strangely beautiful with its shimmering sugar coating and fluffy texture, is all form and no flavor. Fans of the Japanese cat might enjoy this for decorative purposes, but please, don't attempt to eat it.

Right out of the wrapper, we were hit with an overpowering sweet vanilla scent. Curious about the content of the pink bow perched upon Miss Kitty's head, we pried it off and attempted to take a little nibble. Was it fondant? Or maybe just crystalized sugar? Whatever it was, we were unable to penetrate its rock-hard surface and ended up with sore teeth for all our efforts.

Next we took a little nibble of her ears. As the sugar crystals dissolved in our mouths, we were overwhelmed by the strong artificial chemical flavor of vanilla -- and postulated that maybe this treat would be a good stand-in for fans of Peeps when those are unavailable, but no self-respecting Peep lover would find anything good in this pop. Kandy Kastle, the makers of the vile Hello Kitty Marshmallow pop, clearly think that lovers of the sickeningly sweet Hello Kitty will want their candy just as sweet.

As we ate our way down the pop, we discovered that things only got worse. The cute pink dress turned out to be a very thick marshmallow skin: Imagine a stale marshmallow dyed bright pink and injected with fake vanilla flavor, and you'll come close to imagining what eating this pop was like. Luckily, we were able to extract some small bit of perverse pleasure from slowly tearing Hello Kitty apart.

Would we finish it? Egads, no!

Would we buy again? Maybe to use as decoration at a tween's birthday party. But certainly not to eat.

Rating: 1 out of 5

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Aubrey Shoe
Contact: Aubrey Shoe