When did decaffeinated coffee become so fancy? When I dropped by Honor Society Handcrafted Eatery one recent morning for this week's review of Honor Society, I heard the girl at the counter tell a customer that the restaurant doesn’t brew decaf. “The reason we don’t make 'fancy' coffee,” she said, pausing to stress the word fancy, “is because there’s a Starbucks down the street.”
I nearly laughed out loud, since the same girl had just taken my order for what might be the fanciest coffee I’ve ever ordered: metabolic paleo coffee. This brew makes caramel-drizzled, whipped-cream-topped beverages look like child’s play. Sweetened ever so slightly with maple syrup and molasses, it has a touch of cinnamon, grass-fed butter, and a swirl of one of the paleo diet’s healthy oils: coconut oil, organic at that. To top it off, the drink gets a hit of maca root, a superfood used to boost everything from low energy to sexual appetite. Surely on the scale of fancy, a cup of decaf would be a pair of Birkenstocks whereas this, well, this would be nothing short of four-and-a-half inch stilettos.
Semantics aside, how did the metabolic paleo coffee taste? Despite the two sweeteners, the drink hardly tasted sweet (a good thing in my book), and it had a silky mouthfeel from the oil and butter that I ultimately preferred to cream. And it didn’t have the spice-cookie aftertaste I’d feared. But for all its charm, the paleo metabolic coffee wasn’t able to rise above the poor drip coffee at its base, which was lukewarm and tasted like it had been sitting around all morning.
And the drink might have an even bigger problem, at least to true paleo fans. “Coffee should be excluded by anyone seeking to achieve the most out of their paleo lifestyle,” writes the founder of the paleo diet, Fort Collins professor/author Loren Cordain.
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