Mysteries of Sheehan's Desk: Day 13

Keep Westword Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

Worst. Product. Idea. Ever.

I get a lot of dumb and worthless shit sent to me -- worthless shit being essentially any sample product that doesn't come in a nice glass bottle with "Product of Ireland" written somewhere on it. But in the history of dumb and worthless shit, this has to be the dumbest and the most worthless. I mean seriously... Nut Poppers? Who in their right mind is going to want to put something like that in their mouth? And even if some people did, who is ever going to admit it to their friends?

"Hey, Bob! Know what I did last night? Had myself a nice mouthful of Nut Poppers. And can I tell you something? They were fan-tastic!"

Yeah, just not going to happen.

I'm a guy who gets paid to put things in his mouth for money, and even I never opened the bag of Nut Poppers I was sent. Made fun of them, sure. Wondered aloud what in the hell the people over at Planters market research must've been thinking when they passed this on. I mean, have they never heard of focus groups? Was there no one willing to stand up and tell them what a terrible idea this was?

But I never opened the bag. And I'm never gonna. Because on the off-chance that these are the most delicious things ever designed by man, I don't want to have to be the guy who tells his nearest and dearest just how much he loves a nice handful of Nut Poppers before bed.

Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.