Cafe Society

Mysteries of Sheehan's Desk: Day 13

Worst. Product. Idea. Ever.

I get a lot of dumb and worthless shit sent to me -- worthless shit being essentially any sample product that doesn't come in a nice glass bottle with "Product of Ireland" written somewhere on it. But in the history of dumb and worthless shit, this has to be the dumbest and the most worthless. I mean seriously... Nut Poppers? Who in their right mind is going to want to put something like that in their mouth? And even if some people did, who is ever going to admit it to their friends?

"Hey, Bob! Know what I did last night? Had myself a nice mouthful of Nut Poppers. And can I tell you something? They were fan-tastic!"

Yeah, just not going to happen.

I'm a guy who gets paid to put things in his mouth for money, and even I never opened the bag of Nut Poppers I was sent. Made fun of them, sure. Wondered aloud what in the hell the people over at Planters market research must've been thinking when they passed this on. I mean, have they never heard of focus groups? Was there no one willing to stand up and tell them what a terrible idea this was?

But I never opened the bag. And I'm never gonna. Because on the off-chance that these are the most delicious things ever designed by man, I don't want to have to be the guy who tells his nearest and dearest just how much he loves a nice handful of Nut Poppers before bed.

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Jason Sheehan
Contact: Jason Sheehan