Cafe Society

The Ten Worst Burger Ideas Ever

Ah, the burger. Labor Day grilling tradition, force of good and ease in the American diet. We take you for granted, burger. We assume that because you are a national culinary treasure that you are also unassailable, that you can be toyed with--unmercifully at times--and that you'll still come out perfect.

But it is, in the end, we who are imperfect, o burger. Arrogant. Thankless. How have we screwed with thee? Let us count the ways. And then, forgive us our trespasses.

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Teague Bohlen is a writer, novelist and professor at the University of Colorado Denver. His first novel, The Pull of the Earth, won the Colorado Book Award for Literary Fiction in 2007; his textbook The Snarktastic Guide to College Success came out in 2014. His new collection of flash fiction, Flatland, is available now.
Contact: Teague Bohlen