Top five onion appetizer recipes (if you don't want to get lucky)

Making a date dish can be challenging -- especially if you're not in the bloomin' mood. Serve one of these onion appetizers to your significant other, and we guarantee you won't need that condom that's been sitting in your wallet for the last three months.

The top five onion appetizers that are easy to make, but won't pass the smell test:

1) Bacon Onion Appetizers: Who needs sex when there's bacon? This recipe calls for a mix of onions and bacons to be spread on a crescent roll. Open wide.

2)Onion Bite Appetizers: Mayo, onions and parmesan cheese on white bread: What meth head wouldn't make this? Let's see what's in the fridge besides needles.

3) Wrapped Onion Appetizers: We're on a roll now. For this dish, you rub pasteurized cheese product over your meat, wrap it around a scallion, then store in the refrigerator until it's frigid. Like your date.

4) Onion Puffs: This oniony treat requires only a package of onion-soup mix and a few other ingredients that every kitchen should have on hand. Just because your pantry is bare doesn't mean you have to be.

5) Cipollini Onions Braised in Red Wine: Surprise! Onions can actually taste good. This Food Network favorite involves classy Cipollini onions and a red-wine glaze potent enough to glaze over what's actually underneath.

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