Most Popular
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A Cold Case Frozen in Time
Until this cold case heats up, Sharon Skiba is lost in limbo.
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CU Hires Three Pulitzer Winners
Some of newspapering's best and brightest are trading journalism for academia — including three Pulitzer winners hired at CU.
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Sazza
If you must go for gourmet pizza, go to Sazza.
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Arapahoe County DA Charges Death-Penalty Fees to the State
How does DA Carol Chambers beat the high cost of a death-penalty prosecution? By billing the prison system.
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Crepes n Crepes
French food is no flash in the pan.
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A Cold Case Frozen in Time (10)
Until this cold case heats up, Sharon Skiba is lost in limbo.
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Con Artist Gives Funny Cause for Pregnant Pause (7)
Would you pay $20 to get a scam artist off your front porch?
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Big Trouble (8)
Gary Haney was living the high life until meth took him down.
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To the Max (5)
A publicity-hungry student shows how easy it is to become a media darling -- with a little help from CU.
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The Magnet Mafia Sticks to Street Art (5)
Matt Feeney and Harrison Nealey have a new way for artists to stick it to the city.
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A Cold Case Frozen in Time
Until this cold case heats up, Sharon Skiba is lost in limbo.
-
CU Hires Three Pulitzer Winners
Some of newspapering's best and brightest are trading journalism for academia — including three Pulitzer winners hired at CU.
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Arapahoe County DA Charges Death-Penalty Fees to the State
How does DA Carol Chambers beat the high cost of a death-penalty prosecution? By billing the prison system.
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Shakeup in Denver Radio
Denver radio's getting a shakeup, with more alterations on the horizon. But do any of the switches qualify as improvements?
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The Magnet Mafia Sticks to Street Art
Matt Feeney and Harrison Nealey have a new way for artists to stick it to the city.
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The Rocky Piles Up Borrowed Content
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Governor Bill Ritter Salutes Governor Ralph Carr
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Friday Rap-Up: Basementalism, Hip-Hop 4 Obama, 50 Cent, Fat Joe, Juvenile
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Mile High Makeout: Paying the Price
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Look of the Day - Irish Gangster
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Project Runway Finale Tonight
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Pundit Watch: Paul Begala
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The Ron Paul Revolution Is Only Beginning...
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What we are writing about
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National Features
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Remembering Sandy Widener
In journalism, "30" means the end. But after thirty years, it's not easy to let somebody go.
By Patricia Calhoun
Published: January 3, 2008
Weeks later, I find myself driving down the street and, inexplicably, something will remind me of him — something so simple as a tree — and I'll find myself blurring with tears.
It's not easy to let somebody go.
In December 1984, Sandra Widener, one of Westword's co-founders, wrote a stunning piece for the Denver Post, the paper where she was then working, on the death of a friend, lawyer Jonathan Olom. Reading through "The Death of a Friend," I'm reminded of several things. That Sandy was a hell of a writer, and that she did a remarkable job of capturing the spirit of a man who died way too early. A job so good that Jonathan lives on through her words. And now she does, too.
It's not easy to let somebody go.
I met Sandy the very first day of our freshman year at Cornell University, where we were both assigned to the second floor of Dorm 4, a hideous cinderblock building at the bottom of an even more hideous hill. Since the other four floors were filled with boys, our floor bonded fast. Sandy was fresh from Texas, a tiny blonde in even tinier hot pants, with a big personality. She could be feisty and fierce — particularly when people didn't take a tiny Texan in hot pants seriously — but she was also a hell of a lot of fun. She loved to laugh — everything from a piercing shriek to a raucous hoot to a tee-heeing titter when she was particularly tickled. She would laugh so hard that she'd hug herself and cry, her eyes shining like stars.
It was Sandy who got me into journalism — she joined the Cornell Daily Sun, an independent daily in Ithaca, New York, and encouraged me to do the same. By our junior and senior years, we were spending endless nights in a ramshackle building downtown, listening to the old AP machine, drinking wretched coffee and talking — sometimes about politics, but often about nothing so high-minded — with other Sun addicts.
And I got Sandy to Denver: After graduation, fellow Sun alum Rob Simon and I started a newspaper on Long Beach Island, New Jersey, then fled after one smelly, exhausting summer, leaving that paper to another friend and coming to Denver to start a free weekly because when I'd been here to ski, I thought the state seemed so much more interesting than the media made it look. Sandy, who'd spent the summer in Indonesia, signed on to join our harebrained adventure.
John Parr was a major reason that Colorado was so very interesting, but we didn't know it at the time.
We started Westword with little money and less sense. For the first issue — most of whose copies never made it out of our garage because we hadn't quite finished setting up a circulation system — we reported on TV weathermen and the energy boom and Star Wars, still packing them in on Colorado Boulevard. Sandy wrote about Pop Rocks — isolated Denver was a big test market before the Internet started blurring boundaries — and a migrant food fund that was running out of money. She was a serious journalist, but she was also an unstoppable force of nature. She'd streak across the office, leaving chaos in her wake. She was like a comet, Rob said.
And then the comet found her orbit. John Parr had made a name for himself as the smart-growth strategist who'd stopped the Olympics from coming to Colorado, then helped Dick Lamm get elected governor of Colorado. By the late '70s, he was heading Lamm's Front Range Project, looking at the future of the metropolitan area. Sandy went to interview him.
"I love him," she said when she returned to the Westword office, tittering and hugging herself, her eyes crinkling into stars. And for almost thirty years, her life would revolve around the world they created together. The tough cookie had crumbled.
"It's not the end of everything, but whatever happens next does not take the form of these goofy little bodies and personalities we're stuck with now. I don't think we'll come back to Earth; there are too many other interesting places to be. Why would you think that the best thing would be to come back here and be on Earth again? It's kind of like saying, I'm afraid to go up the block, afraid to leave the neighborhood."
After a few years, Sandy left Westword to join Rocky Mountain Magazine and, when that folded, the Denver Post, where she covered everything from rough-and-tough mining towns to the death of a friend. When John moved to New York City to head the National Civic League, Sandy worked for Newsday, covering crime stories while she was hugely pregnant (but still tiny). And then, when John moved the National Civic League's office to Denver, she started writing textbooks so that she could work at home while taking care of their two daughters, Chase and Katy.











Thank you, Patricia, for helping those of us who knew John, mostly before his time with Sandy, to know this very special person. His eyes truly lit up when he spoke of her and the girls when visiting his hometown in the summer of 2006. May you and all who knew them be blessed with continued healing as we share and as they live on through others.
Comment by Margaret Robinson — January 2, 2008 @ 04:46PM
john was a good person so I expect his wife was also.
But the Westword that put out crap articles in the 1980s without verifying accuracy
should not be the place an eulogy comes from.
Comment by gadfly169 — January 3, 2008 @ 05:21PM
Dear Patty,
Thank you for writing such a lovely column about Sandy and John. The news of the tragic end to some many good lives traveled quickly through Philadelphia where John had many personal and professional friends. This column was a lovely way for me to recall Sandy from my days in Denver and at the Denver Post. Anyhow, thank you.
Comment by Anne Gordon — January 4, 2008 @ 08:38AM
I've been meaning to email since I heard, but then enough time had gone by that I didn't know how to bring it up. The column made me cry, as all of your best ones -- even the funny ones -- do. My thoughts have been with you -- and all of Denver -- even though I didn't know John or Sandy.
Comment by ADH — January 4, 2008 @ 05:35PM
thanks Patricia, this is a wonderful remembrance - it is still so hard to accept.
bill pace
Comment by william pace — January 5, 2008 @ 03:19PM