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Monique Armstrong's schmucky decision to break into jail

Monique Armstrong. More photos below.
Monique Armstrong. More photos below.

Here at Schmuck of the Week headquarters, we're all for families that stick together through thick and thin. But even this fine quality can be taken too far.

As evidence, we submit the strange story of Monique Armstrong, a twenty-year-old from Grand Junction who reacted to her brother being jailed by trying to break into the hoosgow -- not to free him, apparently, but to take his place.

Inside the Mesa County Detention Facility.
Inside the Mesa County Detention Facility.
Courtesy Mesa County Sheriff's Office

As you can see by the photo above, the Mesa County Detention Facility is not the kind of place most people would like to spend quality time. Presumably, then, eighteen-year-old Michael Armstrong, known on his Facebook page as Mikey, wasn't all that thrilled when he was taken there April 27 on suspicion of three offenses, as reported by the Grand Junction Daily Sentinel: driving under the influence of drugs, driving the wrong way and possession of drug paraphernalia.

The previous month, Monique had an unpleasant brush with the law, too: She was busted on March 22 in regard to theft and first-degree criminal trespass allegations. But she'd long since bonded out when Mikey checked into the Cross Bar Hotel.

Things changed beginning at about 4 a.m. on April 28. According to the Sentinel, Monique called 911 and told the dispatcher she was headed to the jail, where she planned to insist that deputies let her brother go and book her instead.

Mikey Armstrong, as seen in a photo from his Facebook page.
Mikey Armstrong, as seen in a photo from his Facebook page.

A short time later, deputies reportedly found an abandoned vehicle near the Mesa County Justice Center. Then, an alarm sounded, alerting law enforcers to an issue along the jail's perimeter.

An escape attempt? Far from it. Monique had managed to get beyond the chain-link fencing and razor wire and was on the jail's grounds, where she broke a window and asked deputies to arrest her.

In the Sentinel's pithy phrase, "They obliged."

One more thing: Mikey Armstrong was released that morning at about 8:50 a.m., mere hours after his sister's swap offer went to hell. And we haven't heard about him wanting to trade places with her.

Ingrate. Here's a look at Monique's booking photo:

Monique Armstrong.
Monique Armstrong.

More from our Schmuck of the Week archive: "Vincent Terry, Colorado fugitive: His crack-addled, umbilical-cord-biting love story."