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Jai Ho's complete menu, including the amusing and cryptic descriptions

The first time I ate at Jai Ho for this week's cafe review, I spent several minutes staring at the menu. It was unlike any I'd ever seen: incredibly amusing yet borderline useless, with descriptions that made me laugh out loud and gave little help in determining what I'd be...
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The first time I ate at Jai Ho for this week's cafe review, I spent several minutes staring at the menu. It was unlike any I'd ever seen: incredibly amusing yet borderline useless, with descriptions that made me laugh out loud and gave little help in determining what I'd be eating.

Eventually, I concluded that a random selection sufficed -- the restaurant didn't serve me a single bad dish, and much of what I ate was stellar. But here, for amusement purposes, is Jai Ho's full food menu, descriptions and all:

Soups

Tomato Soup

Mulligatawny (Is a curry-flavoured soup of Anglo-Indian origin,Translated literally from Tamil, "Mulligatawny" means "pepper water) Spicy Chicken Soup (Comfort soup - Homestyle)

Fun Finger Food Masala Vada (Fried crisp lentil dumplings AKA Indian falafel ) Aloo Bonda (Flavorful mashed potato balls batter fried) Fritter Platter-Veg (Bajjis and pakoras making merry together) Jai Ho Spl Masala Chilli Bajji (Stuffed Chilli fritter - Slit,Stuffed and fried Street Style) Chilli Gobi (Cauliflower in Indo Chinese style) Chilli Paneer (Cottage cheese in Indo Chinese style) Samosa (Triangular pastry stuffed with veggies) Masala Egg Bonda (Boiled egg batter fried topped with onions) Gobi 65 (Cauliflower cooked in a popular and unique flavor) Chicken 65 (One of our signature dishes - many different stories for how the name came about, but who cares, we just eat it!!) Shrimp 65 (Another clone of the 65 series, this time in shrimp 'Avatar') Chilli Chicken (Chilli and Chicken need I say more??) ECR Fish Fry (Tilapia Filet, Marinated and Pan fried with a vengeance..) Jai Ho Lollipop Chicken (Chicken Wing lollipops!!! Are you crazy??? Every Table's got to have one..)

Nawab ka Kababs La Jawab Paneer Tikka Chicken Tikka Tandoori Chicken Malai Kabab Jai Ho Karaikudi Kabab

Tiffin Idli (Steamed Rice Rounds) Medu Vada (Flavourful lentil donuts) Sambar Vada (Flavorful lentil donut which decided to skinny dip in sambar) Dahi Vada (Flavorful lentil donut's day at the spa - spiced yogurt bath) Poori with Masala or Channa or Kuruma (Giant Puffy fried bread with many options and a bright future) Parotta Kuruma (Layered bread with veggie coconut curry) Aappam/Idiyappam with Kuruma/Coconut Milk ( Weekend specials)

Plain Dosa (Crispy Crepe ready to roll off the plate straight into your tummy) Podi Dosa (Crispy Crepe lined with a spicy powder) Madurai Malli Dosa (Crispy Crepe lined with a spicy mint chutney.. Madurai ishtyle) Masala Dosa (Crispy Crepe with a potato & onion centre) Mysore Masala Dosa (Crispy Crepe lined with spicy Tomato Chutney with a potato & onion centre) Rocket Ghee Roast (It's a plane,It's a rocket.. No it's a Dosa) Cheese Dosa ( Dosa gone American..) JaiHo Spl Dosa (Triple Lined with Podi,Chutney and the potato & onion masala) Rava Dosa ( Made with semolina or cream of wheat ...Like we did not have enough Dosas!!) Onion Rava Dosa (with onions) Rava Masala Dosa (with potato & onion centre) Oothappam (Savory Pancakes) Onion Oothappam (Topped with Onions) Tomato Oothappam (Topped With Diced tomato) Green Chilli Oothappam (Whoa!! Topped with Chilli) Tricolor Oothappam (To show some love for the motherland, topped with the colors of the Indian flag Green Chillies, White Onions, Red Tomatoes diced & sliced) Ceylon Chicken Dosa (Dosa Stuffed with Chicken and served with chicken curry..Heavenly!!!) Ceylon Mutton Dosa (Dosa Stuffed with Mutton and served with mutton curry..Double Heavenly!!!) Chicken Kal Dosa (Thick soft Dosa Topped with Chicken and served with chicken curry..Grand mom's pizza anyone???) Mutton Kal Dosa (Thick soft Dosa Topped with Mutton and served with mutton curry.. Grand mom's pizza anyone???)

Bread Phulka Roti (Thin roti which just melts in your mouth) Tandoori Roti (Wheat Bread cooked in Tandoor) Kerala Parotta (Layered bread popular in south india - note the difference in spelling) Lacha Paratha (Layered Wheat bread cooked on Flat griddle) Tandoori Butter Naan (The favourite all buttered up) Garlic Naan (Will give the Italian garlic bread a run for its money) Jai Ho Atom Naan (Green Chilli Naan, Got Guts ??) Cheese Naan (Topped with cheese) Navaratan Naan (Bread of the gods.. with dry fruits&Nuts) Egg Kothu Parotta (Minced Parotta, Egg, Onions, Tomatoes and curry taking a beating on the pan, street style) Chicken Kothu Parotta (Minced chicken, Parotta, Egg ,Onions,Tomatoes and curry taking a beating on the pan, street style) Mutton Kothu Parotta (Minced mutton, Parotta, Egg, Onions,Tomatoes and curry taking a beating on the pan, street style)

Rice Dishes Ghee Rice (Aromatic Rice cooked in Ghee) Veg Pulao (Light Flavourful rice cooked with veggies) Indo Chinese Fried Rice (Veg/Egg/Chicken) Veg Dum Biriyani (Biriyani is the food of emperors rice slow cooked with rich curry and vegetable) Chicken Dum Biriyani (Biriyani is the food of emperors, rice slow cooked in rich chicken curry) Mutton Dum Biriyani (Biriyani is the food of emperors, rice slow cooked in rich Mutton curry) Bangaluru Bagala Bath (Most of Indian meals are finished with this yogurt and rice, this mainstream dish in its exotic form)

Entrees

Vegetarian Dhal Fry (Lentil basic finished with a flair) Karaikudi Ennai Kathirikai (Traditional Egg plant dish from Tamil Nadu's famed Chettinad cuisine) Charminar Bagara Baingan (Egg plant fit for the Nizams - Muslim emperors) Kadai Bhindi (Feel Good Okra) Chettinadu Gobi (Cauliflower cooked in chettinad style dry stir fry) Mushroom Malabar (Mushroom in Kerala Syrian style dry stir fry) Paneer Tikka Masala (Needs No Introduction) Malai Kofta (Veggie cutlet balls in creamy curry) Vizag Veg Veppudu (A spicy mélange of veggies in Andhra Style) Veg Annamalai (Chettinad style veggies with a punch, just like our superstar :-) ) Veg Kuruma (Thai golden curry move over,here I come.. )

Non Vegetarian:

Chicken Chettinadu Chicken (Chicken in thick brown curry from the chettinadu heartland) Godavari Gongura Chicken (Spicy chicken cooked andhra style with a touch of the gongura pickle) Malabar Chicken (Chicken curry with more than a hint of coconut.. Got to be from God's Own Country - Kerala ) Kodi Veppudu (Chicken cooked homestyle from Andhra ) Nilgiri Chicken Curry (From the hillstations of Tamil nadu ,will you be surprised if it has a herbal touch?!) Madurai Chicken Chukka (Madurai is such a delight for foodies, so will this stir fried chicken be ) Chicken Tikka Masala (Should I say Britain's most favourite dish, topping Fish & Chips!!! Imagine that !!!) Hyderabad Chilli Chicken (From Hyderabad with love, that too spicy love !!)

Mutton Madurai Mutton Chukka (The Original Chukka) Madras Mutton Kuzhambu (Goat curry, Just like how mom makes it for the sunday meal..Goes with everything) Godavari Gongura Mutton (Goat cooked in spicy tangy curry, with gongura from andhra) JaiHo Spl Karaikudi Mutton (Chettinadu is jealous now, so from chettinadu with love...) Mutton Pepper Masala

Sea Food Kuppam Meen Kuzhambu (From the fishing hamlets of tamil nadu, who else make the best fish curry.. Duh!! ) Kerala Fish Curry (Kerala with all its backwaters and gorgeous coastline is obviously a fisherman's paradise and they have a great fish curry with a coconut base) Madras Mango Fish Curry (Fish, Raw Mango in Curry like honey .. Am I in Heaven !!!) Era Varuval (Shrimp Stir fry like no other..) Shrimp Thokku (Shrimp in thick rich sauce )

Desserts Ras Malai (Made from scratch cottage cheese rounds in rich creamy milk) Hot Gulab Jamun (Indian Donut tidbits in flavoured sugar syrup) Hot Gulab Jamun with Ice Cream Jil Jil Jigar Thanda (From the Land of Tamil with a Hindi name!! go figure.. yummy but u got to guess the ingredients) Fruit Salad with Ice Cream Spl Falooda (Indian Sundae exotica) Jai Ho Spl Tooti Frooti (Sundae with all my favorite ingredients, can't go wrong here with my sweet tooth) MANGO KULFI MANGO MOUSSE

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