A Sexy, Spanking Good Time

A Sexy, Spanking Good Time

Slide Show

If you chose to spend last weekend anywhere other than the Pink Elephant Room, you made a bad choice. Lucky for you, though, there will be ample chances to redeem yourself. Every Friday and Saturday, PS 1515, at the corner of Madison and Colfax, transforms itself into the modern-day speakeasy/burlesque club called The Pink Elephant Room. The crowd on opening night was almost as eclectic as the clothes the girls shed throughout the evening.

Though some of the guests were sartorial duds, most of the club were a bit daring in their attire. But the performers put us all to shame. Burlesque takes “retro” to a whole new level. Look around the bar and you’ll see a vampy flapper chatting it up with a '60s-style go-go dancer, complete with a hoola hoop and knee-length white boots. Across the room you may spot a WWII USO Girl sipping gin martinis with a buxom starlet-type straight out of old Hollywood. Though the art form references multiple eras of by-gone glamour, most of the looks are inspired by the 1920s-1950s with '50s Hollywood dominating the scene.

“Its fun to make a distinction between your day and night personas,” says Burlesque expert, Jaye Furlonger, as she takes a long drag from her cigarette. (Yup. Taboo and even downright inappropriate to say though this very well may be, even smoking looks pretty glam when these particular ladies do it.) “You may spend your day in some humdrum office in a button-down suit, but at night you can dress up and you look much more important and exciting than you really are.”

Nice sentiment, but I find it hard to believe that The Pink Elephant Girls are anything but exciting, night or day. Even when wearing nothing but frilly panties and tiny pasties, these girls remain the epitome of class. There is a difference between “trash” and “tease.” There is a difference between “slutty” and “flirty.” There is a difference between stripping and burlesque.

Burlesque is way sexier.

I’d like to see some common pole dancer work a set of tassels the way the buxom bomb shell of Denver’s Burlesque scene, Miss Fanny Spankings, can. I mean, at one point, she had four tassels going all at once. Think on that for minute. You know you want to.

Much of that sex appeal comes from the confidence these women exude. One gets the feeling that they can all drink you under the table, counsel you through a time of crisis, kick your ass in a poker game, shred you in an intellectual debate, then take the stage and titillate even the staunchest, most conservative, heterosexual Republican housewife. These girls certainly made me question my sexuality… or, at the very least… my gender identity.

And you know what? They do it all with God -iven assets and asses. The MC for the evening, a very sexy/funny Boylesquer named Charlie Champale, states at the beginning of the show that “these girls are aaaaaaaaaall natural. All their parts are real.”

Remember when a size 14 platinum blonde bombshell could be the biggest Hollywood sexpot in the world? Well… technically, I don’t “remember,” that either, but I have a 16” x 20” framed print of Marilyn Monroe’s Chanel ad hanging in my bathroom that proves that such a time did once exist.

And if the Naughty Reverend Mother of Denver Burlesque, the uber-fabulous Ms. Vivienne VaVoom, and her minion of vixens has anything to say about it, the “real woman” is about to make a huge comeback… in (and out of) vintage clothes. I cannot remember the last time I had such a good time. Judging by the hoots and cat calls coming from the crowd, I wasn’t the only one, either. But be warned, while you won’t need a secret knock to get into this scandalous night club, if opening weekend was any indication, you will need a reservation.

And when the feathers start flying and the clothes hit the floor, you may need to fight the urge to reach down and swipe the forsaken frocks. But fight it, you must. After all, ladies, stealing is a sin. -- Steve Burge The Pink Elephant Room takes over PS 1515 at 1515 Madison Street (Madison and Colfax) every Friday and Saturday. Make your reservations by calling 303-394-1515. Shows start at 10 pm.

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