Barack Obama, now officially the Chuck Norris of presidents

Say what you will about his policies, but it's pretty much official at this point that Barack Obama is the most accomplished individual since Leonardo Da Vinci. For one thing, he's president of the United States -- which, okay, George W. took a little of the prestige out of that office, but still. For another, dude speaks Indonesian. And reportedly, he can spin two basketballs at once on his fingers while riding a unicycle and whistling "Sweet Georgia Brown." Now, he's written a children's book -- his third book -- and two days after it was announced, with two months to go before the actual release, it's already a bestseller. He also just beat you at arm-wrestling.

The book, Of Thee I Sing: A Letter to my Daughters, tells the story of thirteen influential Americans (like Georgia O'Keefe and Jackie Robinson are among them) who the president sees as potential inspirations to the younger generation. Reportedly, he left himself off the list because younger generations could not possibly measure up to his awesome exploits, which include breaking up a Venezuelan cocaine ring while simultaneously being shot out of a cannon and into an unmanned stunt plane, which he then flew to safety, in the process disarming several game poachers and saving a family of panda bears.

And also writing three best-selling books. Though many presidents have written books, some which have come out while that president was in office, few of those books have done well sales-wise. Bill Clinton, of course, had a best seller with My Life, which came out after his presidency ended -- but his lesser-known Between Hope and History, released during his first term, didn't fare so well. George W. Bush scrawled a book on crayon during his second term and sold one copy to Barbara Bush, who put it on the refrigerator.

Meanwhile, Obama's Dreams from my Father and The Audacity of Hope have topped bestseller lists, and since being announced on Monday, Of Thee I Sing has shot to the top 25 on both and The book won't be released until November.

Until then, if you need Barack Obama, he'll be solving global warming by wearing brass knuckles that say "Ice Cold" and roundhouse kicking carbon emissions in the face.

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Jef Otte
Contact: Jef Otte