Gratuitous randomness: Stock photos of businessmen shaking hands + Metallica lyrics

It's basically universal scientific consensus that Metallica has pretty much sucked since Lars Ulrich became a whiny, milquetoast little ass-face, which, evidence increasingly suggests, he has been since birth. Scientists also know that there is mathematically nothing more boring than a stock photo of two businessmen shaking hands -- BUT -- what if you combine the two? Today, in some way because of the recent shitload of earthquakes (and also because it's Wednesday, the day that we bring you the best of our weird internets world in a compendium of images loosely related to whatever we happen to come up with), we're finding out.

Follow us on Twitter!

Like us on Facebook!

KEEP WESTWORD FREE... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Jef Otte
Contact: Jef Otte