Guido outrage! Top five reasons The Jersey Shore hates Obama

If you've ever wanted to physically throw something at a blackface depiction of Barack so racist it's almost vaudevillian, and you live in Seaside Heights, NJ, where The Jersey Shore is filmed, then good news! You can. A boardwalk game called "Walkin Charlie" offers up Obama, along with such luminaries as Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein, as a literal target for conservative ire. But why do guidos hate Obama so much? Find out after the jump. 05. He can't clean up the Gulf oil spill Sooner or later, that oil is bound to reach the Atlantic coast -- and it's not the kind of oil you want to slather on your skin. Crude oil doesn't help you tan at all! 04. He smokes cigarettes As the Jersey Shore cast knows, smoking is no longer cool. The cool thing is now "Smoke Sticks," a cigarette-like smoking alternative that is so cool The Situation can smoke them in LAX. Get with the times, Obama. 03. He put a 10 percent tax on tanning The nerve! Snookie was so upset, she even altered her life slightly: "I don't go tanning tanning anymore because Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning. I feel like he did that intentionally for us, like McCain would never put a 10 percent tax on tanning... because he is pale and he would probably wanna be tanned." Darn African Americans with their lack of tanning sympathy! 02. Deena Cortese can't stop using racial slurs In a MySpace video posted before she joined the cast, Cortese warned some anonymous guys she'd been mistreated by that she was going to "play you out, n****." Or was that directed at... Obama? 01. Stephen Izzo really, actually hates black people After getting his ass handed to him in a fight with some MTV security guards who happened to be black, Izzo went to Facebook to denounce "those n***ger bouncers." Because white bouncers never kick the shit out of you when you get out of line.

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Jef Otte
Contact: Jef Otte