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The first Bro Show – billed as “everything a man needs, all in one place” – filled the Denver Mart with classic cars, mixed-martial-arts contests, beer pong, guns, food, women in tight T-shirts, and beer, lots of beer, over this past weekend. But amid all this manly merchandise, one thing was definitely in short supply: hipsters.
Although hipsters appreciate irony, they could get a heaping helping of that just by donning a flannel shirt and stopping in at the nearest sports bar to suck down a PBR or two, completely incognito.
Here, for those who missed the Bro Show, is our handy guide to distinguishing bros from hipsters.
Hipster: Mustache year-round
Bro: Mustache during Movember
Hipster: Mountain-man beard
Bro: Goatee
Hipster: Ironic tattoo
Bro: Tattoo
Hipster: Skinny jeans and hand-screened art T-shirts
Bro: Cargo shorts and sports T-shirts
Hipster: Converse
Bro: Flip-flops year-round
Hipster: Baseball cap with mesh trucker patch
Bro: Any baseball cap
Hipster: First beer is oak-aged wild ale with hibiscus and blood orange
Bro: First beer is Miller High Life
Hipster: Beer of choice after first round is Miller High Life
Bro: Beer of choice after first round is Miller High Life
Hipster: Bars with no windows
Bro: Rooftop patios
Hipster: French press
Bro: 7-Eleven coffee
Hipster: Grass-fed bison
Bro: Greasy burger
Hipster: Rocky Mountain Moonshine from Two Guns Distillery
Bro: Jack Daniel’s
Hipster: Colorado Rockies
Bro: Broncos
Both: Nuggets
Hipster: Baker
Bro: Ballpark
Hipster: Lucky Peach
Bro: Sports Illustrated
Hipster: Fixie
Bro: Cruiser
Hipster: Car2Go
Bro: SUV
Both: Subaru
Hipster: Walks cat
Bro: Walks dog
Hipster: Gardens
Bro: Does yard work
Hipster: House show
Bro: Raging concert