Does Vincent Gallo write his own Netflix reviews? Artist Jason Barr thinks so. In a recent blog post, Barr points out that the auteur responsible for bizarre but captivating films like Buffalo '66 and The Brown Bunny might just be responsible for the reviews posted on Netflix for his latest films. We take a look at how these reviews compare to Gallo's eccentric rants on his website, where he offers to sell his own semen. The review in question appears on the comments section for Promises Written in Water and Essential Killing, both written by mysterious Netflix author JJ 396363:
Vincent Gallo is the only leading-man material left in the entire world. Actually, I think he might be one of the only decent human beings left on the planet. In terms of his immaculate performance capabilities, how he manages to not only maintain, but excel, is nothing short of miraculous. Without even a word, his face and depth of subtle expression can tell it all. People hating; undermining; underestimating; misunderstanding his relevance are the people who affirm and are symptomatic of a degenerate civilization. I can only hope to achieve or even get next so such a genius.
Wow. So is this Vincent himself, or just a sycophantic fan? Reading Barr's post, where he suggests comparing the post to Gallo's "other long winded paranoid rants" on his website led us down the rabbit hole into the den of insanity that is Gallo's website.
The end of his online biography sounds strangely similar to the Netflix review:
Gallo is one of the most misunderstood, misquoted, misrepresented talents in the past 25 years and a brief review of his IMDB page suggests he has also been incredibly prolific.
"Misunderstood, misquoted, misreprested" sounds awfully like "People hating; undermining; underestimating; misunderstanding his relevance."
On his merchandise page, along with selling his films and music, Gallo also offers up himself as an escort (for a mere $50,000) and his sperm (for $1,000,000). This hilarious gem offers up the same bloated self-aggrandizing language when talking about the quality of his cum:
Those of you who have found this merchandise page are very well aware of Mr. Gallo's multiple talents, but to add further insight into the value of Mr. Gallo's sperm, aside from being multi talented in all creative fields, he was also multi talented as an athlete, winning several awards for performing in the games of baseball, football and hockey and making it to the professional level of grand prix motorcycle racing. Mr. Gallo is 5'11" and has blue eyes. There are no known genetic deformities in his ancestry (no cripples) and no history of congenital diseases. If you have seen The Brown Bunny, you know the potential size of the genitals if it's a boy.
Oh, Vincent. After spending hours going through Gallo's totally entertaining site, we think it's a definite possibility that he also wrote the Netflix review citing his haters as "symptomatic of a degenerate civilization." After all, his bio does explain the ridiculousness of his site as internet art:
Gallo has also created his own website which upon closer examination is actually a highly conceptual artwork resonating with his early performance work. On his website www.vincentgallo.com in the merchandise section Gallo is selling his sperm and sexual fantasies as conceptual works. Gallo's Internet art questions celebrity, procreation, ego, social agenda, and views of religion, race and sexuality.
Writing his own Netflix reviews might just be a continuation of Gallo's "highly conceptual artwork." Or JJ 396363 is just a Gallo superfan. Either way, thank you, Mr. Gallo, for an entertaining few hours of internet browsing.
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