Nothing like a flat bang of an episode opening--finally, Snooki has gotten hers (well, again.) But as soon as this dude is in, he's out--he won't cuddle. After Snooki tells him to head out, she gets on the duck phone to call up an old flame. Meanwhile, Ronnie's dad comes to the shore to comfort him after the actual break-up, and brings his Magnum P.I. mustache with him. Dad gives a good dad-like pep talk, urging Ron to stay at the house with his dudes and ladies. He decides to stay.
Snooki has played herself. Snooki is bummed. Snooki tries to get it back on with Vinnie, but to no avail. Snooki then tries to understand the fundamental player vs. skank double standard. She, like the rest of the world, fails at it. No matter, the crew heads to the club and gets all kinds of wasted. Back at the house, Vinnie teases Snooki by trying to get in bed with her, and then turns her down for smashing that other dude last night. What a fucker.
The next morning, Ronnie caves and calls Sammi. They discuss the inevitable--her return to the house--and, much to our great saddness, it sounds like this is a possibility. Back on the previous-episode prank trip, Snooki and Deena have decided to stick marshmallows all over the house, and pretend they didn't do it. This pisses The Situation off, so when he is asked to call the girls a cab, he calls one--but he requests they be sent to Times Square. The Sitch wins this one.
Flash to Sammi, who is at her non-Jersey Shore home, packing to head back to the Jersey Shore, of course. Then flash to Deena and Snooki, who have picked up on Mike's prank, and have realized that they are, in fact, heading to Times Square. Flash back to the house, where The Situation passively aggressively talks shit to the dudes for going to eat without him. Flash back to the cab, where the two meatballs have finally been returned to their trip to almost-hell. Snooki labels The Sitch a Jerk-off. This means she's serious.
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