The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade: Pretty much one long advertisment

Keep Westword Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

The custom of watching The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, as Kiernan Maletsky pointed out the other day, is one of our more bizarre holiday traditions: There is almost no cultural event more boring than a parade in real life, but watching one on TV? Coma-inducing. Still, for lack of much of anything better to do, and just like everyone else, I found myself staring slack-jawed and googly-eyed at the television Thursday morning, eating a Hot Pocket for some reason and wondering why it was necessary for what amounted to a giant commercial to be interrupted by commercials.

The segment above (sorry about the audio -- apparently somebody recorded this by just filming their TV. Why? I can't begin to fathom it) is probably the most egregious example I saw of straight-up product hawking. Here's a few seconds of facts about this float, followed by a fully 20-second, a semi-related pitch for Disney Cruise Lines, delivered by none other than Katie Couric, who most likely went home and cried herself to sleep afterward because has become a cruel, sad joke.

That segment was followed by a few seconds of the U.S. Pizza Team and then a lengthy commercial break. Then it was Jimmy Fallon with The Roots, whose strong heritage-based black identity has been co-opted by the worst ofay douchbag ever to ruin every Saturday Night Live sketch he's ever been in. At that point, I watched the rest of the parade mostly because I had become too depressed to move.

For serious, though: Why do we watch this shit? Discuss.

Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.