Goods & Services

There are usually a couple of cabs lingering in front of this Denver landmark, but if not, the Brown Palace hotel doorman will almost always help you get one if you’re stuck downtown. Just don’t be rude: Doormen can get a little ornery when an obnoxious drunk who isn’t a hotel guest starts demanding service. The nice thing is that when the upscale Brown Palace calls for a cab, it’ll show up long before it would at whatever dive you were really drinking in.

First haircuts are often traumatic, with heads turning this way and that, tears flying and scissors snipping frantically in uneven, ragged lines. The folks at Tortoise and the Hare know this well, and they’ve figured out how to avoid exacerbating the situation. Aside from experience and patience, it helps to have a TV and a little cart to sit in (here, there’s a little Jeep, a boat and a horse) and warm-up toys — a little kitchen set, rocking zebra or a car with a horn — to play with while waiting. Plus, it only costs $10, and they’ll cut any kid’s hair, from babies on up, in a guaranteed straight line.

Talk about false idols. This six-foot cement statue of a calico cat playing with a giant ball of pink yarn outside the Cat Hospital of Wheat Ridge will remind cat owners just who’s the boss. Then again, from the expression on this cat’s face, she looks like she just got her shots. Dr. Douglas Ikeler, who owns five cat hospitals in the metro area, “likes to make little landmarks to stop traffic,” says a worker at the Cat Hospital of Denver, which has a five-foot walking cat out front made of rebar and covered with ivy. The other cat hospitals — Southeast, Northglenn and Paramount West — all have giant neon-pink Cheshire cats crouched on top of freestanding signs in out front. They’ll get your attention, and why not? After all, cats are people, too.

It’s good to have a friend, but when that friend has a wet nose and a waggy tail, well, that’s the ultimate in unconditional love. Plenty of studies have shown that pet visitation programs work: When pets visit seniors, convalescents or kids in hospitals, everyone seems to perk up. The nonprofit/volunteer Alliance of Best Friends screens and trains people and their pets before sending them out to spread fur and joy; all it gets in return are enough smiles to light up the entire city for a month.

You’ve heard the grisly tales about pets who died while having their teeth cleaned, victims of anesthesia. And then there are the ones who fall ill because they didn’t have their teeth cleaned. It’s an ugly bind, especially if your best friend is getting on in years, but Pet World tenders a happy medium by offering monthly sans-gas dental clinics for stinky-breathed dogs and cats, provided by trained hygienists from a California outfit specializing in anesthesia-free dental treatment, all at a reasonable price. Sweet gums, my Prince.

It’s 3 a.m., the neighbor’s obnoxious Chihuahua won’t stop barking, there’s a party going on down the street, and you can’t stop thinking about your job presentation tomorrow. At times like these, only one thing will help: Walgreen’s 24-hour pharmacy. Not every Walgreen’s has one, but if you need your sleeping pills badly enough, or any other drugs you happen to have a prescription for, it’s worth the effort to find one that does. The staff is friendly and helpful, not that it matters: Anyone looks friendly and helpful when they hand you that little plastic bottle of magic medicine in the middle of a heinous night.

Readers’ choice: 7-Eleven

Seven out of every ten sick, injured and orphaned critters that limp into Jack and Penny Murphy’s nonprofit animal-rescue center walk out again. As a result, this husband-and-wife team — also known as Coon Papa and Bat Lady — are sought out by veterinarians, animal-control officers, police and homeowners statewide. For the past ten years, they’ve rescued and rehabilitated everything from bats to raccoons, coyotes, foxes, squirrels and practically anything else that slithers, flaps or crawls. He got his nickname for his kinship with raccoons and she got hers for her kinship with the flying mammals. From an impossibly cluttered home in Aurora, Jack and Penny have shown that there are more humane ways of handling wild creatures than traps, gas chambers and trips to the pound. The couple nurtures the animals back to health and releases them into the wild. And if you need help getting squirrels from your attic, they can do that, too. Just tune the radio to Rush Limbaugh, Jack says. “That clears the room real quick.”

Readers’ choice: 911

Ever wonder why it’s so hard to keep grass green in Denver? Erratic weather, freezing winters, burning summers, high winds, bad soil and a miniscule amount of rainfall may have something to do with it. Enter Xeriscape, a word that was invented and trademarked by the Denver Water Department in 1981 to help frustrated Denver gardeners save water and keep the areas around their homes lovely without having to fight Colorado’s naturally dry climate. The key is to let go of the American ideal of a green lawn. Just try it for a moment: It’s not easy, but it helps to have some direction, which is why the folks at the water department run a series of seminars in the late winter and early spring to teach people the principles of Xeriscaping and give them ideas of what to plant and how to landscape. They also have a ton of free pamphlets and other information, a hotline and a demonstration garden located at department headquarters. And if they sometimes sound a little defensive, it’s hard to blame them. Many people have the wrong idea about Xeriscape. “[It] is NOT ugly, brown, rocks and cactus. A properly-designed Xeriscape is lush, colorful and easy to care for,” according to departmental information. “It’s good to bring attention to the fact that we basically live in a semi-arid desert,” adds Liz Gardener, conservation manager for the water department. “Especially this year. We’ve been lucky for the last decade, but I don’t think it’s going to stay like that.”

And, yes, that is her real last name. Gardener says that after a divorce, she didn’t want to keep her married name and she didn’t want to take back her old name, so she chose a new one. “I asked myself, ‘What makes sense for me?’ I love to plant seeds of thought in people’s minds almost as much as I like to plant seeds in my garden,” she says, “so it’s perfect.” And “Xeriscape” just didn’t work — as a last name, that is.

Readers’ choice: 16th Street Mall shuttle service

Once you graduate from the Denver Water Department’s free seminars, how about its Xeriscape handbooks? These will set you back a few bucks, but the series gives all the skinny — rootstock and barrel — on how to conserve water and still have a beautiful yard. Four books — Xeriscape Plant Guide, Xeriscape Color Guide, Xeriscape Handbook and Waterwise Landscaping With Trees, Shrubs and Vines — cover just about everything, from what to plant to how to plant and maintain it; there’s also a video on how to convert a grass lawn to a Xeriscape garden. Quit doing a rain dance and just get smart — all you need is the right equipment.

You always want to try new places, but Echter’s is the place you keep coming back to, and here’s why: There are acres of merchandise, from birdhouses and gifty gewgaws on one end to an endless selection of trees, shrubs, perennials, landscaping materials and more on the other end. And in between, they’ve got every kind of tool or gardening supply you could ever hope for, an array of the prettiest pansies around town, annuals galore, unusual herbs and fragrant lavenders, Rocky Mountain columbine and zillions of roses (from the picky teas to the hearty shrub varieties), and everything else that grows from the ground. Add in the efficient service, a kids’ play area and the park with a lake across the street, and you’ll never want to go anywhere else.

Groundcovers Greenhouse is relatively small, tidy and well-stocked — the perfect place to pick up a few broccoli seedlings or yellow pear tomato plants or a quick packet of regionally friendly vegetable seeds. Offering a good selection of annuals and perennials, and with at least one knowledgeable staff member always roaming to answer questions, Groundcovers also sports a particularly serendipitous selection of the garden ornaments, decorative pots and trellises that make gardening less of a chore and a whole lot more fun.

Tiny and uncompromisingly lovely on the corner of Gaylord and Tennessee (where it hangs out engagingly like a private backyard retreat), the Potted Garden is the place to pick up elegant baskets of bleeding hearts to hang from your eaves, or large, well-established container-grown tomatoes, or a four-pack of snapdragons, or even a $200 designer birdhouse, the kind of splurge you never expected but suddenly can’t live without. Or you can just go there for a quick fix of spiritual floriation on your way to eat sushi or seafood down the street.

Photographs and Memories proffers all the services related to photo restoration: oil tinting, damage repair, archival enlargements, retouching and so on. But here’s their pièce de résistance: They’ll make a montage for you out of personal items and photos and then photograph the whole thing in black and white or oil-tinted hues to create a keepsake or memorial ready to stand the test of time. The possibilities are endless, but the results are the same: You’re left with a fitting tribute to any loved one that can be as funny, heartwarming or sentimental as you like.

An immediate lull falls over you as you walk into the Barong Collection; perhaps it’s the gamelan music that wafts, trancelike, through the room. But it most certainly has something to do with the peaceful profusion of limestone and lavastone pagodas from Bali, ranging in size from shin-high and delicate to massive and striking. Regardless of size, they’re all in some kind of laid-back stasis, just waiting to offset that stand of Japanese iris over in the left corner of your backyard. You can’t let the moon rise there without one.

The Pleasant Avenue Nursery in Buena Vista has been specializing in the growing and testing of native and apt species for high-altitude gardening since 1972, changing its focus over the years from mined-land reclamation projects to the lighter-hearted realm of mountain gardening and landscaping. But Pleasant Avenue has became even more of a growth industry this year, starting off the spring with a big retail expansion offering nearly 3,000 square feet of high-country flora. If you choose to live the high life, your plants will have to, too; here’s a good place to find the right stuff.

Now you can hear the sound of falling water (a popular reverberation these days because of its calmative powers) all year long, because this class is offered all year long. Everything’s provided except the bowl and pump, which you have to buy separately — but Wildflowers has those, too. And if you’re so inclined, once you’ve brushed up on your trickle-down theory, you can then sign up for a Feng Shui workshop to help you figure out where to put your fountain.

There’s a reason humans have been taking advantage of the curative — and sensual — powers of herbs throughout the ages. Apparently, they do work, deadening pain and soothing jittery nerves the natural way. Come to Lily’s and you’re certain to leave a believer, at any rate: The tiny shop seems hell-bent on providing comfort, or at least a momentary island of peace, in people’s hectic lives by offering such items as Kneipp health bath products, Moms Ache Oil, delicately scented bath candles, gel-filled thermal compresses, a multitude of tea accoutrements and even herbal ice creams from an outfit called Out of a Flower, including lavender and orchid vanilla flavors. Never underestimate the power of an herb.

You’re the kind of shopper who needs products to match your philosophy — products that bring peace, harmony and love into your life. Or maybe you’re just sick of being jarred out of bed by that screeching alarm. Whatever your reasons, Boulder-based Now & Zen can bring you spirituality and help you to maintain a tranquil state. Founded by Steve McIntosh in 1995, Now & Zen’s products can be found locally at the Boulder Book Store, Namaste and Nature’s Own Imagination, among others, or at www.now-zen.com, which lets shoppers mix and match various finishes and other details of whatever they are buying and even see the product before they buy. Products include the Zen Alarm Clark for $99.95, which plays Tibetan chimes as the volume slowly increases to gradually awaken sleepers. There’s also the Affirmation Station for $89.95, an alarm clock with a recording device that lets you record a ten-second personal affirmation like “I love myself.” The message plays before you go to bed and as you wake up. And for those who want a little therapy while brushing their hair, there’s the Mudra Mirror for $69.95 — a hand with a circular mirror in the palm, signifying that worry is only an illusion. Finally, a Zen justification for a shopping spree.

Glendale’s collection of Russian-language newspapers, books and aids to becoming an American entrepreneur are outstanding, reflecting the Glendale Public Library’s commitment to serving a growing immigrant community in the land of singles apartments and strip bars. Pass the English-Russian Business Dictionary, will you, comrade?

Making a pilgrimage is a sacred time for worship and self-reflection. There’s the Ganges River for Hindus, the Vatican for Catholics and Mecca for Muslims. Locally, there’s even a place for candle-worshipers: Illuminations. As you enter the serene establishment, a sweet, inviting scent drifts into your nose, the sound of upbeat music and trickling water floats into your ears, and red sales tags flash before your eyes — what a great welcome. The company was founded by a Boulder native who now boasts 45 stores nationwide offering a multitude of wax goodies ranging from roasted-chestnut-scented candles (which smell good enough to eat but taste like wax…not that we’d know) to canister candles loaded with the yummy aroma of sugar cookies to chunky white candles filled with vivid rose petals. Their newest line of candles, called Sacred Space, are made with essential oils and botanicals. Your prayers have been answered.

Readers’ choice: Neiman Marcus

Kids grow like mutant weeds, wear rips in the knees like trophies and possess mud-seeking radar. After window-shopping the high-priced boutiques at Cherry Creek, it’s a relief to stagger into the Children’s Place. The store (which has three other metro-area locations) features stylish, bright colors, comfortable fabrics and accessories to the moon — all exceedingly cute, and without the acute price tag to match. Sized for babies, toddlers and kids, the clothes at this mall chain make shopping — and shopping again — a little more fun and a lot less expensive.

After fearing that you’ll smack into the kajillion-dollar Jaguar speeding through the parking lot and then bumping into hundreds of cropped-pants-clad shoppers, a visit to the mall can seem pretty stressful. But the Lauren Brooks furniture and accessories store in Park Meadows makes the fear and frustration worth it. Kathy Imes, a local designer who first opened the store in Evergreen ten years ago, offers an establishment stocked with stunning antiques and beautiful new furniture. One piece in particular, a massive bed full of fluffy, zebra-print pillows, seems like it could have the strange power of driving shoppers to throw off the “please don’t sit on bed” sign, jump in, and — for those who can afford it — roll around in the saffron-charmeuse-tufted, $1,210 comforter and scream “I love being loaded!” Aside from the luring bed, the store is full of treasures such as insect-shaped antique pins, vibrant glass perfume bottles and cozy furniture. For shoppers who can’t afford to sleep like the rich, the store offers sweet-smelling soaps made with flowers so you can at least shower like rich folks do. Walk away slowly from the Jag and enter an unparalleled mall paradise.

Readers’ choice: Nordstrom

Weddings are hell to plan — so much work for a mere lifetime of bliss. But the invitation you send out is a symbol of what you want yours to be like, so pick the perfect one — right down to the flourishes on the typeface — with the help of someone who knows what she’s doing. Deborah Bodian has been selling invitations out of her home for several years, but she recently opened Paper Talk, a little shop decorated with gauzy swags, wired ribbon and fresh flowers. She also sells party goods, photo albums, metallic gel pens and unusual cards. It’s a nice place to get away from the hustle and bustle of brides and grooms all trampling their way toward the altar, and it will help you get over having to invite your spouse-to-be’s crazy cousins.

Now you can get one leg tattooed while the other one is being waxed! No, seriously: The Blue Door does offer tattooing services, along with related applications of permanent cosmetics and henna body painting. But you can also indulge in every bit of new-age massage media, from Reiki to aromatherapy, all provided by experienced women practitioners. Kick back. Take the ring out of your nose. Relax.

One day earlier this year, a young woman arrived in Capitol Hill to get her hair done. Since her regular hairdresser was still snipping the locks of another customer, the woman wandered two doors down, walked into Twisted Sol and got her genitalia pierced. There are many ways to kill time while waiting to get a haircut — reading a magazine, for instance — but there’s nothing as creative as getting a new piercing or tattoo, and finer tattoo aficionados can spot a Twisted Sol epidermis a mile away. Whether it’s Jeff Kopp’s pinpoint portraits or Jeramiah Clark’s spray-paint style, this place has the finest den of young ink artists in Denver. “We’ll work as many hours as there are in the day,” says co-owner Alicia Cardenas. Currently, there’s a three-month waiting period for any of the five featured tattooists, but that will change soon. This month, Twisted Sol will expand into an adjacent space (the former Majordomos coffee shop) and add two new tattooists and another piercer. Cardenas says the store will also sell tribal art and jewelry. Whatever you decide on, it’s sure to go perfectly with your trendy new trim.

Imagine Baco-Bits made of yesterday’s Firestones, and you’re on your way to envisioning Crown Three, a nifty lawn-care product from a company called Jaitire. Sprinkle it on heavily trafficked areas of turf grass — dog runs, the mailman’s shortcut, the path your kids beat to the swingset — and this tiny rubber carpet will protect the crown of the grass root while conserving water, extending the growing season and insulating your lawn from the winter blues. Keep your car off the lawn, though. Non-recycled tires tend to leave a mark.

Taking its design inspiration from the board game Candy Land, the folks at Can Land Recycling do their damnedest to put the fun back into recycling. Nestled among the modular-home dealerships of north Federal, the entrance to Can Land is marked by candy-cane-striped poles and a huge, festive sculpture of suspended wooden barrels with massive grins and outstretched arms. That welcome alone is worth all the drudgery of rinsing and sorting a truckload of garbage. The grounds are decorated with a profusion of brightly colored paintings of happy homes and grateful cans caught frozen for all eternity in mid-hug. Maybe hope and happiness can live on beyond the confines of a children’s game.

These good people know all about lifting life’s little burdens. Aside from being a thrift store, the nonprofit Family Tree Foundation is dedicated to improving the self-esteem of people needing to overcome family crises, violence and homelessness. The funding comes from donations by the materially overwhelmed, and the folks here run their store with the same care that they run their services. Most notably, unlike some other thrift stores, no item gets thrown away. Even if it’s slow to sell, a donation may finally find its value in one of the signature mix-‘n’-match packs that make shopping here interesting and affordable. The people at the Family Tree Foundation are experts at getting rid of — and helping others get rid of or deal with — unneeded stuff.

When it comes to dumpster-diving, the best advice you can follow is this: Look before you leap. Peruse, peruse, peruse. And wear comfortable shoes. But here’s where the looking’s easy on your eyes: You’ll find quality and abundance in these well-heeled alleys and, at the same time, get a unique insight into how the other half lives.

So you want to stick it to the Man? What better place than the lawn between Denver’s formidable City Hall and its gilded State Capitol? The best time to score is in the middle of the afternoon: Foot traffic is relatively heavy, and all you’ll need is maybe $15 for an eighth of an ounce of pot. The quality’s not the best, but it beats being sober when you go back to your data-entry job after lunch, loser. The sellers are friendly, too. They’ll smoke with you if you like, and they always approach with a toothy grin and a cheerful voice. If you’re cool, they might even hook you up with someone who can score you something stronger. We’ve got your war on drugs right here, buddy.

You don’t have to be gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered to attend the Ray of Light Narcotics Anonymous group at 7 p.m. on Wednesdays and Saturdays at the Gay and Lesbian Services Center; all of those gals in the busload from the treatment center certainly aren’t, nor is that biker guy. The important thing is that they all feel welcome — something that isn’t always the case at the other NA meetings around town. And while this new meeting has grown so much over the last few months that it might eventually have to leave the cozy confines of the GLS center, there’s something uniquely inspiring about that confluence of festive gay decorations and the promise of recovery from drug addiction: Somewhere over that rainbow, dreams really do come true.

Ivonne and Bob Rosnik gave up their real-estate business in May, but over the past fifteen years, the statuesque Swiss matron and her soft-spoken lawyer husband helped more than 150 gay and lesbian couples and individuals buy into the American dream. “For us it was just natural, business-wise, to be involved with the gay community, because we have so many contacts in the gay community,” says Ivonne. The Rosniks have four grown children, two of whom are gay; as soon as their eldest son came out in 1982, they joined Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays — Ivonne running the hotline and coordinating the speakers’ bureau. Business was so good, in fact, that they acquired clients only by referral. “One led to another, and that’s how we built up a very solid business,” she says. “There are a lot of gay and lesbian realtors, but what was unusual was that I was a mom, so I was involved as a parent working with gay couples.”

Ivonne’s favorite story involves two men. “They were delightful people. They wanted a property in the mountains where they could have non-traditional animals — a llama and maybe a goat, which most zoning doesn’t allow — and they wanted land around it. We finally found a place in their price range on the other side of Bailey Mountain. That’s a long way from Denver. I set up the showing, and when they saw the house and the sixteen acres, they said, ‘This is our place!’ I went to the door and it says ‘The Joneses.’ I rang the bell and this lady appeared, in her late fifties, and right behind her was another lady about the same age. This was a lesbian couple, and we found out there were about ten other lesbian and gay couples in that same area.”

It’s too late for the Rosniks to help you buy a house, but you can still benefit from their expertise: They’re now selling Pre-Paid Legal Services (“It covers domestic partnership and is available for nonmarried heterosexuals and also gay and lesbian couples,” Ivonne notes). But then, even if Bob and Ivonne were selling free condoms, we’d buy some.

Still stuffing that condom into the dark crevices of your crammed wallet until the latex sheath decays? Make it a problem of the past by shopping at the Planned Parenthood gift shop, which boasts a slick storage method for your rubber buddy: The Crazy Condom Keyper, a key chain with an opening for the condom. Keypers cost $2.40 and come with spurts of sexual wisdom from such characters as a cartoon condom with a jazzy smile and sunglasses that reads “You’ve got to put me on,” and a cow wearing red rubber boots that advises you to “wear your rubbers.” For $1.50 more, you can also get matchbook-style condoms with a story about Dick and Jane. “See Dick with an erection. See Dick with no protection. See Dick with an infection.” Everyone will be very impressed — and, hey, you might even get lucky.

It’s tough to leave Rover behind for a fun-filled vacation when he’s staring at you through the window with those sad, puppy-dog eyes. Avoid the guilt by leaving him at Shylo Country Club for Dogs. Your doggie won’t even miss you; he’ll be too busy frolicking with other dogs in one of seven outdoor play yards (large dogs on one side, small ones on the other). When it’s hot, misters spray water on the dogs to keep them cool and refreshed, and at night, they’ll come inside to a spotless and well-insulated group bedroom.

Owners Steve Fisher and Bruce Clark bought their forty-acre property sixteen years ago so that they could raise Afghan hounds, but friends kept asking them to care for their pets when they went out of town. So ten years ago, Steve and Bruce decided to make a business out of it. Shylo charges between $11 and $14 a day to board dogs (a limited number of cats can stay there too, for $8 a day), and another $15 to have someone pick up and drop off your pooch if you don’t want to drive out to Watkins. Shylo, which can board 45 dogs at a time, also offers a day camp for dogs; every weekday morning, employees pick up dogs at Washington, Cheesman and City parks, and drop them off in the same spot in the evening when their owners get off work.

And every August, satisfied customers show up for the poolside doggie fashion show, a benefit for the Dumb Friends League that any dog owner can attend for $10. Hang out and laugh while your dog takes a dip in the beautiful swimming pool in back of the owners’ house.

Once you have your new body art properly in place, make sure you get back to Urban Renewal. Three hair stylists cut and snip the snazziest ‘dos for hipsters of all ages. A women’s cut goes for $30, a men’s is $20, and every customer receives a “stress-relieving scalp massage.” Mmmmmm. Scalp massage. Try to arrive too early, though, because you never know what you’ll find yourself doing in the interim.

According to Don Rose, “The reason people sweat is so they don’t catch fire when they make love.” Now, who could find something more romantic than Don’s great explanation for perspiration? Rose’s poetic wisdom is just one factor that helps www.milehighheartbeat.com reach the pinnacle of romance. Deborah Wiig, a Web zine publisher and freelance editor, launched the site on Valentine’s Day this year to offer resources for Colorado couples in search of relationship and romance tips. It offers a local guide for everything from entertainment to articles on such issues as divorce-proofing your marriage. The “Great Dates” section suggests creative ways to spend time with one another, like taking a walking tour of Denver or staying at home and baking cookies. The “It’s About Love” section allows visitors to download romantic screen savers and magnetic poetry. There are book reviews, relationship quizzes, an advice column and romantic Colorado getaways. Everything you need for romance in the Rockies. Now there are no more excuses for a dull relationship.

Tired of sticking your foot in the door time and time again without getting anything but a sore foot? Let your fingers do the crashing: After you search www.denvergov.org for city job openings, you can apply right then and there and maintain an online resumé that you can update as needed. Simply click on the “citizens” icon for employment information, and take it from there. Happy hunting.

Anyone who relies on the bus to get around knows how important it is to be able to fine-tune your journeys, especially when you’re trying out different routes. Now you can find out if your bus is running late, by clicking on “routes and schedules” at RTD’s nifty informational Web site. If your bus is delayed by over five minutes, it’ll be noted, and you can plan accordingly. RTD boasts that it’s one of first transit agencies in the nation to provide such a service. Whether your bus itself is on time is another matter.

You could walk the planet five times over just looking for a pair of comfortable shoes. You could, but you don’t have to: Dardano’s, a family-run business that’s been cobbling around town for sixty years, now hawks some of the comfiest footwear around — such as Birkenstock, ECCO and Josef Seibel — out in cyberspace. The site also gives sound orthopedic advice about foot ailments, as well as the skinny on how to care for your favorite shoes. So log on — and take a load off your feet.

Where can you find a spot nanny who can also run errands, house-sit, walk dogs and curry the pony, all in one fell swoop? 2nd String Moms, a force of 25 started by a pair of recent DU graduates, are exactly what they say they are. They do it all — or at least most of it: The only thing they won’t do is your windows. But you can always ask.

We all need something to write on; some of us like it to be on something pretty, and we’re not talking floral-patterned napkins here. But paper is one of those things gift-buyers can overlook, so the next time you’re actually asked what you’d like for a present, you’ll be ready: Fill out a wish card at Paper Pleasures, which stocks an abundance of beautiful paper, fine fountain pens, sealing waxes, handmade photo albums, rubber stamps of Chinese characters and other stationery items, and your benefactor will know exactly what you like and in what color. Now, don’t forget to write a thank you note.

Choosing a wedding photographer is probably the most important decision a bride and groom will make. Even if the food is terrible or old Aunt Betty slips and falls into the cake, nothing’s a bigger disaster than bad pictures –after all, long after old Aunt Betty’s gone, you’ll still be looking at your wedding photos. Moses Street knows this. Not only is he masterful with a camera — he’s been photographing weddings for more than 25 years — but he teaches his subjects how to look good in pictures. Prior to the big event, he takes couples on a pre-wedding shoot in Rocky Mountain National Park to practice (he’s based in Estes Park, but he does weddings all over the state). He captures the bride and groom from all angles on a digital camera and then lets them review the results to determine their best side and their worst smile. He also asks couples to bring some of their own photographs so he knows what they like and don’t like. His specialties are artistic portraits and fun shots, although he’ll do traditional lineups, too.

The wedding package starts at $3,200, which includes the engagement shoot (you pay extra for the photos themselves). It’s a little steep, but not bad when you consider how much time he spends with a couple. And his theories on photography (which can take hours to explain) and just about anything else under the sun are thrown in for free. Don’t forget to ask him who he thinks killed JFK.

When you want to remember your kids as they were, do you really need ruffles and bubble pants, a goofy smile and Taz spinning around in the background? We didn’t think so. Krista’s black-and-white portraits are simple and real without the silly props, and they reflect a child’s true spirit using natural poses and fun situations. She’ll set up in your living room while your kids run around barefoot and free, and then she just lets the shutter go. The end product is both beautiful and cute. It’ll turn your little devils into angels.

Don’t lose the phone number, because it’s easier to find hard drives loaded with Los Alamos’s nuclear secrets than it is to get a direct line to Rocky Mountain Station, the post office on the sixth floor of the main terminal at Denver International Airport. The irony is, once you find this unbelievably clean spot, you’ll be enveloped by some of the most amiable staffers imaginable, eager to select just the right stamps for those postcards you forgot to mail from Tahiti, or suggest the right service to get your overdue credit-card payment in before you’re cut off, or help you pick out an attractive USPS retail item that will fool your kid into thinking you picked it up in Vegas. Open from 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. every day but Sunday (with stamp machines that do their thing 24-7), this place is particularly handy for those who believe the best way to guarantee air safety is to wear clean underwear and make sure all bills are paid before a flight takes off. It certainly gets our seal of approval.

Readers’ choice: Body Shop

Unlike most gas-station car washes, Puddle actually gets cars clean. Pull up and select the basic wash, or “water works,” which includes a car wash, vacuum, dashboard dusting and window-cleaning for $9.99. Then watch, through windows inside the store, as your car rides through the automatic process before being hand-dried. And if it’s not to your liking, they’ll send it back through. For $13.99, you can upgrade to the “dew drop,” which adds a liquid wax to the package; for $16.99, “big thunder” will do it all plus wash under the car, Armor All the tires, clean the rims and leave a fresh scent in your car. Puddle also has a detail shop where you can select everything from getting your floor mats washed (75 cents each for rubber mats and $2.00 each for cloth) to getting your seats shampooed. Most important, the service is quick, the people who work there are friendly, and you can cruise in sparkling style.

In their quests to make the world a better place, Mahatma Gandhi promoted peace, Mother Teresa nurtured the impoverished, and Martin Luther King Jr. fought for equality. Following these precedents, one Denver man is making his contribution to humanity by committing to protect his neighbors from parking tickets. Last summer, Phil Gage noticed how often people were getting ticketed for not moving their cars on street-sweeping days, so he decided to take a stand. Gage founded First Call Communications, a service that uses a computer program to notify subscribers the day before a scheduled street sweeping so they can move their cars and avoid a $15 ticket. He began with twelve subscribers, but business has grown tremendously, and he now boasts 600 ticketless customers. People can opt for free service, which means their phone call comes with a sponsor’s advertisement, or they can pay $5 a year to get a message without the ad. Gage’s ultimate goals: to serve 10,000 residents and to make the world a better place, one street at a time.

Bookworms are always looking for a new place to gnaw, and the Book Stack, run by DU’s Women’s Library Association for the benefit of that school’s venerable Penrose Library, is a great place to dig in. It’s a repository of cheap, cast-off books: hardbacks, paperbacks, children’s books, collectibles and more, some of which have already been dog-eared, and others that are just waiting to have their pages ruffled. Open Wednesdays from 9 to noon and Saturdays from 10 to 2, the volunteer-managed store isn’t the biggest or snootiest used bookstore around, but it’s certainly one of the nicest.

Sue Lubeck’s store’s been around the block. But now, thankfully, it’s actually beginning to wrap itself around the block. A recent expansion will allow Lubeck to better accommodate educators who meet at Bookies without compromising her already crowded retail space, which spills over with wonderful things for and about kids, providing hours of browsing of the most excellent kind. Whether you’re looking for Harry Potter or something more obscure, you’re more than likely to come across it. But if you don’t, Lubeck’s steadfast, customer-service-oriented staff will help you get it as quickly as possible. It’s the little things that count.

This is a place you either love — or you just don’t get. But be forewarned: Don’t come in here without a healthy imagination and a love for the beautiful and unusual. Five Green Boxes changes its whole look with every season, segueing as grandly and organically as nature herself, dressing in new hues and unfolding with unexpected whimsies. But some things remain the same: Central to the gift, gewgaw and home design emporium’s raison d’être are such regular features as an in-store design team that whips together one-of-a-kind felt patchwork chairs and other household embellishments, what must be the town’s most creative gift-wrapping service, and a fabulous mixture of contemporary craft, antique showpieces, kitsch and flea-market chic. And it all falls under the umbrella of a sky-wide price range that allows you to splurge on a singular, once-in-a-lifetime investment or just take home a little trinket for a pocketful of clinking change.

There’s more to Judaica than a nine-armed candelabra and a six-pointed star. With that in mind, the Boulder Arts & Crafts Cooperative has a sharp eye for artful things Jewish: seder plates, Shabbat candles, dreidels, tallitim, mezuzahs, menorahs and more, all sporting the human touch of an artisan. Hand-forged metals, stoneware and clay are only a few of the mediums represented year-round in the co-op’s supply of Judaic wares, but holiday time is when the displays really shine, expanding to include such items as fine-art paintings by Deborah Kanegis. Try it — you’ll like it.

The signs decorating the warehousey building on the corner of West 38th Avenue and Osage Street in northwest Denver bilingually advertise everything from 14k gold jewelry, pagers and stereos to ropa and the joyería inside. But more than anything, it’s the business’s name — against a logo bearing the colors of the Mexican flag — that says it all: This is Ameri-Mart, brother, and all you need to be happy in this country is lots of stuff. Muscle shirts, mustard-colored jeans, packages of socks for two bucks, christening and communion dresses and Fruit of the Loom briefs. An entire aisle of shoes, 50 percent off. Kenwood and Bose speakers and subwoofers. Video games and Pokémon cards. Cleaning supplies, paper towels and trash bags. Monster squirt guns and brown dolls. Chairs, sofas and a “surprise” back room full of antiquey furniture, “Tiffany” lamps, gilded mirrors, faux elephant-tusk carvings and bronze deer and dolphin statues. Small appliances and Jesus candles. Dried chiles, freeze-dried coffee, corn husks and 25-pound bags of pinto beans for $9.50. Co-owner Mark Reichert says he and his partners “wanted to open a store that combined all the things we found other businesses in the area doing,” but he swears that unlike that notorious, wholly American creation known as Wal-Mart, he’s not trying to put nearby small businesses out. “I thought about that, but I think people like to come where they have a lot of choices. We have clothing, but that doesn’t hurt the other clothing stores around here. People like to shop,” he says. And when they run out of money, there’s a Western Union at the front counter.

Remember the Saturday Night Live skit with Mike Myers wearing a kilt while screaming at customers “If it’s not Scottish, it’s crap”? Well, Frank and Sheryl Campbell, the owners of Thistle & Shamrock, which carries Scottish and Irish goods, don’t greet customers with quite the same hostility, but they are passionate about their merchandise — from souvenir-type gifts like plaid mugs, shamrock socks and shortbread cookies to serious items like kilts, claddagh rings, wool sweaters and vests and bagpipes. They can even order your family’s very own tartan directly from a Scottish woolen mill. One thing that’s sure to make a shopper kick up his heels, though, is an Aran sweater. The patterns, distinctive of certain Irish villages and knitters, were used at one time to help identify where a dead fisherman came from. Traditionally knit on Aran island, they’re now manufactured all over. A machine-knit sweater costs $85, and a hand-knit one will run you $225. Not bad for a little taste of the old country.

Ivy Morgan is a traveler, and her little Sixth Avenue nook is a telling repository. Stuffed to the rafters with trinkets and clothing from such exotic climes as Nepal, Indonesia and Thailand, Cargo has wonderful novelties: Chinese Feng Shui compasses, temple candles, singing bowls and thangka prints and tapestries used by traveling monks to teach Buddhist stories. But for mass appeal, you can’t go wrong with one of her imported T-shirts: Splashed from seam to seam with geishas, bodhisattvas, dragons, samurai warriors, anime characters and more, the body-hugging gear will open eyes and make you feel like you’ve been there and back.

Alice Monroney works out of an ordinary storefront, but what goes on inside is extraordinary. Her lush tapestry travel and passport bags, backpacks, flap bags, totes and cosmetic bags are made of fabrics adorned with everything from flora and fauna to the sun, moon and stars. Monroney finishes them herself with unique, handcrafted buttons, saucy tassels, moiré lining and braided loops and shoulder straps. Then they’re shipped off to shops from Maine to Hawaii and all points between. If you like, you can log on to www.alicetapestries.com and she’ll ship one right to your doorstep.

Kris and Lewis Butler know kids. Take note of the typical, screaming two-year-old behind the counter and you’ll have no question about that. But they also know parents, and the evidence of that is in the snappy inventory of new and used children’s clothes they carry in their narrow Gaylord Street shop. At Beez Kneez, you’ll find pricey new duds, including such brand names as Tender Buttons, Chicken Noodle and Just Kiddin’, which specializes in reversible dresses and rompers in bright prints, right alongside the recycled ones at bargain prices, including cheery plaid or poppy-print party frocks with big collars. There are also sturdy shorts, T-shirts, leggings and overalls, which often sell for $10 or less. Throw in some novelties — wooden-bead “watches” with movable hands, elastic bracelets, hair ornaments, dragon hats and more — and you’re done shopping for the rest of the season.

The store policy says it all: Once Upon a Child will buy back your purchases when your kids outgrow them, a touch that makes a trip to Fort Collins worth the drive. Bargain-hunters will find everything they need here: slightly used V-Tech toys, cute stuffed animals, strollers, cribs, bassinets, bath toys, new overstuffed rocking chairs and a huge inventory of used clothing, both high- and low-end and befitting any season or occasion. Throw in a staff that obviously enjoys and knows the minds of children, and you’ll be in a good enough mood to endure the ride home.

Everyone has musical skeletons in their closet: an embarrassing Euro-trash obsession, a long-outgrown affinity for death metal, an Alanis Morissette disc purchased during a particularly weak moment. Don’t fret. The curiously friendly counter crew at Cheapo Discs has seen it all, and they pass bills instead of judgment. Here, old, unwanted CDs turn into money — which one can pocket or spend on the store’s impressive and inexpensive inventory of used discs. It all works off the magical and dynamic wheel of musical tastes. After all, the Cheapo people know that we all make mistakes — and that at any given moment, someone else is ready to make that same mistake again.

Local seamstress Marcel Antoinette has been sewing for 25 years, but started her handmade children’s line eight years ago when she had a daughter. One thing led to another: She’d dress the little one in clothes she’d made, people would ask, and soon she was in business. Antoinette works and sells the clothes — simple, well-sewn garments of patchworked African print fabrics in bright and sometimes metallic colors (some imported from Senegal and the Ivory Coast) — out of a Park Hill storefront, and she has a Web site in the works, but she doesn’t want to expand too quickly for the sake of quality, the kind that’s helped her bag awards for best children’s clothes at the Capitol Hill People’s Fair for two years running. “The majority of it is poor old me,” she says (on a quick break from cutting new pieces), and that’s the way her customers like it. And so do we.

Janet Banks hated her job as a graphic designer and longed for something simpler. One day, she opened up a book about wooden toys and hasn’t been the same since. Though she remembered her grandfather making such toys when she was little, Banks had no woodworking experience, so she taught herself and recently quit her hated job to concentrate on building toys for her Sweet Lily’s Toy Company. And what does she build? Wooden jack-in-the-boxes with latch tops that flip open, yo-yos composed of a single disc and dowel and painted bright colors, wooden puzzles and an Advent tree with 24 ornaments to attach each day until Christmas. She’s pretty busy playing, but catch her if you can at local festivals or log on to her Web site, www.sweetlily.com.

Things are cooking at Sur la Table, and not just for you. This kitchenware, cookbook and gadget place caters to kids by carrying mini cooking and baking sets that look just like the grownup versions, dinosaur cookie cutters, clever rookie chopsticks, Mickey Mouse cookbooks, froggy aprons and tiny double-breasted chef’s coats for gourmets-in-training. The crowning touch? A classic chef’s chapeau, scaled down to size. Let’s eat!

Dolls, with their staring eyes and stiff, painted-on features, have a creepy reputation with almost everyone except kids and collectors. But one way to get over it is to make one yourself. Next time you need a nice eyeball, drop by the Doll House. Doll lady Rose Rismanchi stocks everything you need to build a cutie three-foot-two with eyes of blue, from custom clothing to curly locks, in her showroom full of doe-eyed dollies, dressed down in overalls and straw hats or to the nines in lacy pinafores and stockings. Be sure to sign up for classes, offered at various times daily except Sundays, where you’ll learn to hand-pour your baby doll’s bod in a mold, attach her head and give her a beautiful smile that will help you get over the creeps.

Adorable and little enough to fit in your hand, this human take on the sock monkey (now overtaken by a whole cottage industry of sock moose and hippos and God-knows-whats) harks back to the days when toys were simpler and sweeter. No one’s going to gasp in awe when they see one of Marcia’s Kids, but they’re something anyone — from a newborn to a grandma — would be happy to grasp. Give ’em a hand.

Mountain-dweller Susan Lee Danaher makes her five-inch sweeties, named Konvalinka after the Slovak word for lily of the valley, from scratch: The tiny, delicate fairies are hand-poured and -painted before being festooned with ribbons, flowers, lace and angels and, sometimes, Danaher admits, tiny tattoos. They come in hues inspired by the colors of wildflowers and other garden denizens.

These tiny felt dolls, which come in a rainbow of pastel shades, are barely there, but they’re perfect to tie on a bouquet or poke into a basket. You can buy the entire ensemble at the Tended Thicket, an agreeable flower and gift shop that starts in a nook and turns into a cranny and specializes in magnificent floral arrangements. They also sell flower-fairy cards and gift tags.

They’re he-e-e-e-re.

A tiny South Broadway storefront with a unique idea, Clayhouse is both a handmade-pottery collective and a purveyor of antiques and collectibles. So you can buy a Tiffany-lamp reproduction or a fat, orange-scented candle embedded with potpourri. But what’s really out of this world are co-owner Lisa Neeper’s little green mugs and flying-saucer teapots. They’re positively extraterrestrial.

Hello Kitty may just be another one of Japan’s attempts to take over the world, but don’t be quick to catalogue it next to Panasonic, Toyota or Pokémon. The cutesy kitty remains mysteriously Japanese and — we admit — utterly inane, but it still manages to capture our fancies, as well as that of collector Ashley Chang, who’s allowed her obsession to flow over into her family’s Chinese restaurant, Min Min, where she has everything Hello Kitty for sale. From pens and tablets to earmuffs to undies, she’s got it all, along with a few collector’s items of her own that aren’t for sale, right there in the corner, a stone’s throw from the Moo Goo Gai Pan.

Next time you need a rock around your clock — or even a bunch of small, random ones to line your garden path — head to Longmont, where Colorado Stone stocks more colors and varieties of slate, granite, sandstone and other fancy finishes than you could possibly want or need in a lifetime at, well, rock-bottom prices. In addition to having a great selection, the store is also easy about small-quantity purchases, and they’ll cut stone to order, just like it was a loaf of bread. They’ve got the deals, any way you slice it.

Rose Peterson makes sitting in a glass booth all day seem like the best job in the world. Though her customers come fresh — or, more accurately, soured — from their morning commutes, Rose, who’s been working Central Parking Systems’ lot at 15th and Delgany streets for the last year and a half (after stints at the McNichols Arena and Mile High Stadium lots), remains remarkably cheery and helpful. Her work ethic is age-old: “If you treat people the way you want to be treated, it’ll come back to you, so I treat ’em the way I want to be treated.” Learning not to take things personally helps, too. “I would tell anyone who wanted to do my job to remember that people aren’t mad at you; they’re mad at things that happened before they got to you.” And, she reminds her crankier clients, “I’m doing my job. It’s not me personally upping charges and things like that.”

To say this flight has something for everyone would be a gross understatement. Flight 771 has, at the very least, two somethings for everyone. The show begins at the ticket gate, where travelers will want to marvel at the speed of the boarding operation; the seasoned flight crew will have passengers buckled into their seats and watching the safety demonstration before anyone has had a chance to request an in-flight magazine. And who needs one? The drink trolley is dispensing beverages lickety-split, and the flight attendant is announcing the rules to the first of many in-flight games of chance (everyone coughs up a dollar and writes their guess as to which animal is pictured on the airplane’s tail; winners split the pot) well before your shadow passes over the Western Slope. Fun ensues, the drink trolley doubles back. Need something more? This eighty-minute flight is a slow pan of American landmarks: The Rocky Mountains, the Black Canyon of the Gunnison, Lake Powell, the Grand Canyon, Hoover Dam, and of course, the Vegas strip. Need we say more?

Colfax Avenue is a five-lane study in contradiction. At points, stately Victorian mansions sit just a cobblestone sidewalk away from folks who call the bus stop home; elsewhere, business folks and city legislators mingle with the drunk, the down-on-their-luck, the intermittent desolation of this particular row. The schizo, serpentine street is a fitting location, then, for Temple of Being/ Bound by Design, a store whose combination of elements is nothing short of brilliant. Let’s face it: Anyone who says that getting tattooed isn’t even slightly painful is probably lying. The human body has certain built-in responses to unnatural stimuli — like, for example, the repeated penetration of the skin by an ink-filled needle. Yet the experience is likely to be more tolerable here because the tattoo parlor is adjoined by a Zen-like space that’s equal parts tattoo and piercing parlor and metaphysical bookstore, gift shop and cafe. What better time to shop for that much-needed quartz-crystal amulet or tarot-card set than while you’re waiting for the ink to dry? Temple of Being is a fitting addition to the Colfax landscape, a place to read while you bleed.

Readers’ choice: Kitty’s

Need a new titanium racket or just some tennis lessons? How ’bout a new ball machine, to rent or own? Well, then, log off Anna Kournikova’s Web site and head down to Game-Set-Match, near the Park Meadows Mall, for tennis-knowledgeable staff — they’ll even keep track of the tension at which you set your strings — and high-end merchandise you might not find anywhere else. For instance: Want to know why you should play high-altitude balls in Denver? The answer, according to a ball salesman, is that high-altitude balls are manufactured at a lower air pressure than regular balls. This compensates for the lower air pressure around us, and slows down the balls a bit. Balls at altitude move faster and bounce higher than normal.

Looking for in-line skates at a price that’s not out of line? How about a perfectly good mountain bike that won’t set you back the cost of a used car? The folks at Sports Plus, on fashionable South Gaylord Street near Washington Park, can help burn calories without burning salaries. You can even pick up a lacrosse stick — or a Big Bertha driver that hasn’t been tossed into the pond even once. For Denver’s physically active set (and who isn’t?), here is a useful alternative to outlandish new-ski prices and $200 baseball gloves. Management will also take your name and number and call when the store gets exactly the used item you want.

Coins are Tebo’s primary business — they carry everything from ancient Greek and Roman coins to an admirable selection of U.S. coins and proof sets. The store’s friendly staff will answer any question, or at least try to find the answer on the rare occasion that they don’t already know it. In addition, Tebo Coins carries a small but wonderful selection of estate jewelry, as well as a large assortment of more modern gold and silver necklaces, rings and earrings. Most people probably wouldn’t consider shopping at a coin store for an engagement ring or wedding set, but Tebo has some of the most beautiful Victorian and art-deco antique rings around (most are platinum and set with diamonds and/or sapphires). Best of all, the prices are unbeatable; they often have sales in which they mark down the estate pieces by 35 percent. And that will save you some coin.

Oh, sure, it’s sobering to think what a massive effort was involved in turning the crumbling Forney Museum building — officially known as the 1901 Denver Tramway Power House — into the incredibly hip new REI store, complete with indoor climbing mountain, indoor/outdoor Starbucks and outdoor kayaking course. Focusing on the numbers alone will defog the brain: over $400,000 in gambling revenues earmarked to state historic projects, as well as a big fat Denver Urban Renewal Authority subsidy. And then, of course, there are the numbers on the price tag of those water-wicking shorts suitable only for climbing the Matterhorn. Still, just walking into the place gives us a thrill, and so does knowing that within its cavernous confines lurks the town’s best method for getting stone-cold sober. Up on the third floor, the cold room that quickly drops temperatures to zero (with wind chills going even lower) is supposed to be used to test cold-weather gear — but the frigid little chamber is also just the spot for sobering up in a hurry. Make sure you have a designated driver along in case your motor skills are slow to catch up and you can’t open the door.

We could write a book on the many reasons we love the Tattered Cover’s LoDo store, among them the old, creaky floors; the chipper, non-creaky staffers; the huge selection of newspapers and magazines; the overstuffed chairs that are just the place to read those newspapers and magazines (or take a nap); the auditorium that frequently offers lectures and book signings; the fact that both Tattered Cover stores still let you write checks without showing ID. But at this time of year, what we appreciate most about the Tattered Cover LoDo is how it keeps its cool. Although the bookstore is housed in the century-old Morey-Mercantile Building, it boasts a thoroughly modern air-conditioning system, one that keeps the indoor climate completely under control. That’s important to books, and it’s important to booklovers. Chill out.

Natavidad Avila arrived here from Guadalajara forty years ago, and he’s been making custom cement floor tiles ever since. He specializes in traditional Mexican and Aztec motifs and translucent, out-of-this-world colors that he carefully pours into intricate patterns copied faithfully from any sample. What makes Avila’s craft especially difficult is its form and mechanics: To re-create designs, he must apply pigment — and that includes every line, dot and flourish — by pouring the colors rather than painting them on with a brush. The results, displayed at Mosaico Mexican Tile, are beautiful and precise, artful in a way that’s rapidly being lost in a high-tech world. Well, almost. Avila, who first apprenticed in the craft at the age of fifteen, is now passing on his secrets to his grandson, who — in spite of having a college degree — asked to be taught.

Herpetophobes, beware: The cast-iron lizard that snakes its way up a stairway at the Native American Trading Company, a venerable old gallery of Indian and Southwestern art and artifacts, is hard to miss. Herpetophiles, on the other hand, won’t be able to handle it enough. The beautiful house-designed and hand-forged rail is a work of art for the ages, and it’ll keep you from falling — or slithering — down the stairs.

Colorado began its first major plate replacement since the late 1970s this year, and by December 31, 2003, all 4.5 million plates should have the new designs. Although most people will get the standard white plate with green numbers and letters (which takes the place of green plates with white letters), there are actually 74 different kinds of plates, almost all of them showing the signature mountain range in the background: Military plates have a blue background, firefighter plates have a red background, Knights of Columbus plates have a yellow background, pioneer plates have a maroon background, etc. There was almost a Columbine High School remembrance plate that would have read “Respect Life,” but many people thought it sounded too much like an anti-abortion slogan, and the state legislature voted it down. The sportiest new plates, however, are the designer version (formerly called “denim”). Featuring a blue sky, a snowcapped purple mountain range, a grassy green foreground and the state’s symbolic red and yellow “C,” the designer plates cost $25 a year — but they sure are pretty. See them all online at www.mv.state.co.us/titlereg/registration/plates/alphalist.html.

Readers’ choice: The old green and white plates

How to thwart those pesky, persistent meter people: Get yourself a CashKey. The handy card key, electronically programmed and available from the City and County of Denver’s Department of Public Works in replenishable amounts of $10 to $100, fits on your key chain and is debited a quarter each time you insert it in the meter. You also pay an initial key deposit of $15 that’s refundable if you return the key. No more fumbling for change or constant meter-feeding. The only catch? You still have to find a space. Good luck.

Almost anyone who’s bought an old decorative has had to ponder this question: Why in the heck did they wreck that beautiful fireplace? We’ve all seen our share of painted-over, stripped-down, once-magnificent hearths in ruin. Too bad the owners didn’t pay a visit to Victorian Treasures, a shop located in a little old house that lives up to its name. Homeowners can buy all the gear to retrofit their old inglenooks with modern gas and electric fireplaces, cast-iron coal grates, fire baskets, decorative tiles and mantels designed to look just like the old ones. They ain’t cheap, but boy, are they pretty; better strike while the iron is hot.

We’re a stay-at-home generation — Internet shoppers and TV watchers. But we can still travel, or at least have a sense of travel in our homes, by shopping for furnishings at places like Foreign Accents International Furnishings, where exotic looks are everyday fare. Stock up here on kilim chairs and pillows, Moroccan oil jars, Oriental carpets, prayer benches, rustic painted furniture or even an Etruscan fainting couch with gilded brocade patchwork pillows; varied accents include a beaded West African wall hanging with a raised lizard design, copper basin bowls, Mali mudcloth runners, Sumatran beaded hats and Java gamelan gongs. To name a few. After a visit like that, you’ll never want to leave home again.

The best life is one in which you never have to worry about a lampshade. Ideally, your lampshade blends unobtrusively into the atmosphere, invisible in its pure functionality. That is, until one too many moves leaves it hanging from its frame, held together by Scotch tape, or a particularly acrobatic cat makes its indelible mark on what had heretofore been some inconsequential piece of fabric. Now just try to replace that lampshade. Go ahead: Go to Kmart and pick up a suitable replacement. Lampshades aren’t cheap, you’ll quickly find out; even more frustrating is that they’re all sorts of befuddling shapes and sizes — how do you know which one is right? You just need a lampshade, for God’s sake. The people at Lampshade Gallery in Wheat Ridge implore you to bring in your lamp, and when you get there, you’ll see why that’s so important: Lynda Ferris, a former hairdresser, will cure your room’s beauty needs, but she needs to work with the lamp. Discern its unique lines and colors. Talk with you about its role in your life. Point out that, really, “the most fun you’ll ever have” is picking out a finial — the little knob that goes at the top, which can truly complete a room. And those brief moments with Lynda are the most fun you’ve ever had…finding a lampshade, at least. You may leave poorer, but you’ll be a richer person for it.

Undoubtedly, you’ve seen them — glazed-eyed zombies wandering the bath-fixtures aisles at Home Depot or walking stiffly, loaded down with catalogues on “tile row,” hoping for a miracle. Forget it, home renovators — cast your fates to the wind. Enter the high-end idea center at the Bath & Kitchen Design Center, which shows off anything from sleek, minimal modern toilets to hand-painted porcelain sinks befitting the finest lady’s boudoir, but walk on by: Head straight to the Mickey Mouse line by Kohler, featuring the iconic rodent’s smiling face and/or silhouette on sinks, tiles and fixtures. Walt Disney must be turning over in his bathtub.

Perhaps there’s something that interests you in the amused, ironic Czech sensibility, and you want to track it in film, from Jiri Menzel’s 1966 ly Watched Trains through Jan Svankmajer’s surreal Alice (1988) and Faust (1994) and culminating in 1996’s Oscar-winning Kolya, by Jan Sverak. You could go further and rent all of expatriot Milos Forman’s movies to see how Central European ways of thought refract through an American lens. Maybe you’re nostalgic for those old Alec Guinness movies from England, or you missed such TV shows as Prime Suspect, Cracker and A Touch of Evil

and want to get caught up. You may be working on a term paper about the history of the American musical. You may have a new flame who dotes on Hitchcock, Peckinpah and Mazursky. Or maybe you just want the latest and best from Hollywood. Chances are you’ll find what you want at Video Station, where over 50,000 titles are available for checkout, making the place one of the five or six best-stocked video stores in the nation. The staff is quirky, friendly and knowledgeable without being condescending. Since the store is locally owned, there’s no corporate presence to put a damper on things or dictate what movies can and can’t be on the shelves.

Late last year, this Denver tradition celebrated its 21st year under current ownership — but it came of age long ago. Wax Trax continues to offer the finest mix of best-sellers and hard-to-find independent or import obscurities of any business of its kind. As an added bonus, stores featuring used recordings, vinyl and videos are mere steps away. Why not stop by today and buy the place a drink?

Sure, there’s a great selection of used discs and vinyl at Twist & Shout, but what lifts it to the top of the heap is its music-loving atmosphere. The joint’s support of the local music scene is well-known, and lately it’s been staging loads of in-store appearances by touring acts such as Patti Smith. Just walking through the door will make you a little bit hipper.

Although it’s located in Thornton, a community not exactly renowned for its trendiness, this store has a national rep among vinyl aficionados, and for good reason: Platters that may cost big bucks in New York City can often be found at Don’s Discs for a fraction of that price. Add to that a sprawling library of seven-inch singles, and you’ve got a mecca devoted to a format whose time has come and gone — and come again.

For nineteen years, Jerry’s Record Exchange has stocked some of the most obscure folk, classical and jazz selections in town. But a few years ago, when acid jazz peaked its way into the club scene, the store became a target for DJs who were too cheap to buy. Instead of loading up on security bells, whistles and armed guards, though, store owner John Loquidis simply placed a handwritten note above the jazz records: “To the acid-jazz dweeb, I assume, who felt it necessary to steal Lester Young, Clifford Brown, Bird, Armstrong, et al. covers to decorate his equipment or club, you are a disgrace to your profession as you defame the American art form whilst denying others these great works. This stuff ain’t mindless dance crap, Jim…If you are just another anal asshole bent on destroying my store, to Hades with you. Cut up old down beats, Jerk.” Store general manager Steve Bruner says the sign appeals to the conscience of potential swindlers and has slowed their thieving ways. “A real jazz lover would never steal,” he adds.