Made in China

The crooks, whores and liars who run the Olympic Games have a weakness for symbolism almost as powerful as their taste for cash. They love their flag-raising ceremonies and their five-ring logos almost as much as they love bribery, and they go ape for big pots of fire. Most of…

Highest-Stakes Adventure

On May 25, Erik Weihenmayer was sitting on top of the world. Well, technically speaking, he was lying near the top of the world. With his stomach convulsing. He’d just yanked himself over the 39-foot rock face called the Hillary Step, the last technical hurdle on the way to the…

Twilight of the Baseball Gods

Wherefore art thou, Tony? Let us count the ways, Cal. America’s love affair with sports heroes can be a pretty sordid business, based more on flash than substance. One year, the madding crowd worships a steroid-stuffed behemoth who whacks lots of Flubber-filled cowhide into the cheap seats. The next, they…

Pucking Around

When I hear Kenny Dubois is going to be in town, there is no question about getting with him. After all, the guy is a national champ, maybe one of the best in the world. Luckily, I am able to track him down after a couple of phone calls, and…

His (Fresh) Airness

Who can fathom the mystery of Michael Jordan? The man has enough National Basketball Association championship rings to open a chain of pawnshops. But the gold and the diamonds and everything they stand for are not enough. Millions of awestruck kids wear Jordan’s $150 sneakers, eat his Wheaties, slurp his…

Dart and Soul

But the one thing that O’Neal cannot do to save his life is shoot foul shots. While most professional players can make around 80 percent of their free throws — and some sink 90 percent or more — O’Neal is lucky to make half of his chances. This lousy record…

Driven by a Dad-Lad Bond

Race drivers combine the sleek daring of matadors with the bullheaded resolve of interior linemen. The average leadfoot would run his grandmother’s old Studebaker into a ditch if it meant getting to a checkered flag first. Race drivers don’t put much stock in sentiment; they’re going too fast to think…

Downhill to Disneyland

Every year, the Colorado ski industry looks forward to the three-day Martin Luther King Jr. weekend in January as one of the busiest times of the year. But this past winter, on the Sunday of that holiday-enhanced weekend, the number of skiers on Vail Mountain exceeded even those eager expectations…

Underdogs Outclass Fat Cats

Someone must be tinkering with the human genome up in permafrost country. A professional wrestler with the brain of a hummingbird continues to serve as governor of Minnesota. The other day, a wheat farmer in neighboring North Dakota stood up on a chair in his local post office and announced…

Avs and Av-Nots

The furies of the National Hockey League — 130-mile-an-hour slapshots, player salaries that would numb Bill Gates’s checkbook, blood-streaked goons exchanging insults in French and Russian — have once more drawn all of Denver under their spell. Since the Avs swept Vancouver, Cup craziness has spilled out of the sports…

Calling All Turkeys

On a recent evening at Archery Adventures, a bow-hunting store in an Aurora strip mall, Bob Cook was setting up his slide projector for a seminar on turkey calling. It was still a couple of weeks before the start of the spring turkey- hunting season, but that didn’t matter: Bob…

Squash’s New Crop

National Basketball Association players visiting town to abuse the Nuggets prefer to stay at the Westin Hotel downtown, from which they can easily walk to dinner at clubby restaurants such as Morton’s and the Denver ChopHouse & Brewery. Professional golfers on tour through Colorado usually pass time between rounds lounging…

Stay the Coors

In this era of obscene player salaries and disposable loyalties, assembling a baseball team is an agony of constant reinvention, incessant tinkering and, when the occasion calls for it, vain hope. Unless, of course, you’re the New York Yankees, who have no need for the usual wishful thinking, so inflated…

Rugged Rugby Love

You want the love? Here is the love. On Monday and Wednesday nights, the forty or so players of the Gentlemen of Aspen Rugby Football Club show up at the Cory Point Riding Arena, a few miles down the Roaring Fork Valley. They wait while the horses are led away…

Slumping Tiger, Wishful Thinking

The best thing that ever happened to the PGA Tour, the sages of the fairway say, is Tiger Woods’s completely dominant performance in 2000 — nine PGA wins (including three majors), more than $9 million in earnings, and the lowest scoring average (68.17 per round) in history. Even wheat farmers…

A Pool of Money

With baseball starting, March Madness on deck and the NBA and NHL playoffs in the hole, one can be forgiven for not having contemplated the dire state of competitive distance swimming in this country. Fortunately, the towel wringers at USA Swimming are there to do it for you. Recently, the…

Gearheads,Unite!

The stereotypical stock-car-racing fan is a 320-pound feed-store clerk from Gritsville, Alabama. Got the Stars and Bars flying from the double-wide. Wife also may be his first cousin, but that don’t mean he’s gonna share that plug of Red Man with her. Leastways, not ’til she changes out the U-joints…

Is That a Zamboni Way Down There?

One night last week, the Denver Nuggets and the New York Knicks played a professional basketball game in the Pepsi Center. At least that’s what the morning papers said. Beheld from our vantage point, in lofty section 369, the event might actually have been one of many things: a concert…

Corporate Team-Building Muscles In

Time was, sports and recreation were something you did in your off-hours. Sure, there was always the company softball team. But at least you could choose who was on the squad. No geeks allowed — and that guy in sales and marketing who showers once every pay period? Forget it…

Hurrah for Hay-Burners

Given the exalted circumstances of today’s professional athletes and the inadequate appreciation most of them show for their good fortune, it’s always nice to find the rare individual who does the job without complaint, keeps his mouth shut and demands no special treatment…save for the occasional raw carrot. No thoroughbred…

More Boing for the Buck

Want to make your high-powered colleagues down at the club think you’ve lost your competitive edge and corporate marbles? Try out this pitch the next time you run into a couple of venture capitalists while sweating over your “friendly” game of lunchtime squash: “Boys, I’ve been an athlete all my…

X Marks the Splat

The first thing — and possibly the last — you need to know about the new Extreme Football League is that Dick Butkus is the philosopher king of the rules committee. For those who don’t remember Butkus (which is to say, virtually every fan the XFL hopes to attract), this…