Cheap Perfume's Lead Singer Vomited in a Walmart Parking Lot

Karl Christian Krumpholz

Audio By Carbonatix

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Jane No: “We drove up to Fort Collins in Spice Van — a Volkswagen Vanagon bought with Bitcoin from a hippie who sold exotic spices. The traffic was worse than the lingering exotic-spice smells, and it took several hours to get to Surfside 7. But once we were there, it was a lit show — especially since we were also celebrating our lead singer’s 28th birthday. Stephanie is no stranger to drinking, but she went extra hard that night. When we woke up the next day at our friend’s house, she had her first big-girl hangover.

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Karl Christian Krumpholz

“The van pumps heat constantly, and it was a summer day that summoned the ghosts of spices past. We made it to Loveland before Stephanie asked me to pull over. We let her out in a Walmart parking lot and went inside to buy her some Pedialyte and Advil and an ice pack for her head. When we came back, Stephanie was nowhere to be seen. After driving and walking around, we spotted her under a bush, seeking the only source of shade in the asphalt desert. ‘I barfed in a Walmart parking lot,’ she said. Welcome to hangovers after 28, Stephanie. On the long drive home, Dave took a video of Stephanie sleeping in the back of the van and posted it on our Instagram. For some reason, it quickly became our most popular post ever.”

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Karl Christian Krumpholz

Cheap Perfume is playing Punk Against Trump at the Moon Room on January 19 and at Lost Lake on February 23.

Editor's Note: The Denver Bootleg is a series chronicling the history of local music venues by longtime Denver cartoonist Karl Christian Krumpholz. Visit Krumpholz's website to see more of his work.