Lil Wayne can't go to prison today because his diamond-encrusted teeth hurt.

Lil Wayne was supposed to be sentenced and head to prison today for a 2007 gun-possesion arrest. But the man needs surgery to repair a cracked tooth, which we suppose is a common problem among people with a mouth full of diamonds. We're sure this a completely legitimate delay, and...

By Kiernan Maletsky

February 9, 2010

Audio By Carbonatix

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Lil Wayne was supposed to be sentenced and head to prison today for a 2007 gun-possesion arrest. But the man needs surgery to repair a cracked tooth, which we suppose is a common problem among people with a mouth full of diamonds. We're sure this a completely legitimate delay, and there is no way that having billions of dollars in the bank helps to delay a prison sentence.

Something tells us Lil Wayne's actual prison experience will differ from the one depicted above.

Yesterday, he filmed a goodbye video on UStream. He probably thanked his fans somewhere in there -- we could only handle about thirty seconds of poorly-lit rambling. There is a section in the middle that we randomly skipped to where he's playing with his hair. He seems suspiciously nonchalant for someone about to serve a one year sentence, so maybe (definitely) he knew he wasn't headed in just yet. Or maybe (definitely) he was just really, really high. The entire 55 minutes is after the jump, if you have a lot more patience than we do.

So there's that.

Meanwhile, the rapper's rock debut, Rebirth looks like it will sell about 160,000 copies in its opening week. That's about ten times less than his last studio album, Tha Carter III, which makes a lot of sense because Rebirth is fucking terrible. At least the Saints won the Super Bowl.

Kiernan Maletsky is a former Westword intern.

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