Limp Bizkit: the prodigal tools return

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In what may be a sign of the apocalypse -- or, more likely, just a sign that Fred Durst finally blew through his ill-gotten gains and doesn't want to get a real job --

Limp Bizkit has announced a reunion tour and new album


I'll pause here to allow all the bros, the meatheads and the assorted douchebags to finish cheering wildly, high-fiving each other and calling for rounds of Jager Bombs, and to allow the rest of you to swallow the mouthful of vomit that just rushed up. Hit the jump when you're done.

Look at that photo up there (just received from the band's PR folks). Just look at it -- they don't even look particularly excited about the prospect of reuniting. Who can blame them? They had to suffer through their particularly atrocious take on "music" more than even their most ardent fans. I mean, fuck, they had to rehearse that shit. How crazy is that? And now as they approach middle age (Durst will be forty next year), they have to go out and pretend to be juvenile retards again.

Or, god forbid, they might roll out a new, more "mature" version of the Bizkit sound. Pause and think about the horrors of that for a second.

I guess there's some hope that the kids of today will have wised up and won't accept the limp, puerile excuse for edgy "metal" that Bizkit peddled, but I am not holding out much hope. After all, Insane Clown Posse -- the one band unquestionably worse than Limp Bizkit -- still manages to make a living somehow and all those Jonas Brothers fans are going to need something to listen to that signifies their rebellion when puberty sets in shortly...

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