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Spinning in the grave: Immortalize your ashes in vinyl

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Sorry about the headline. We just couldn't resist. Also considered: "Vinyl is officially dead." At any rate, if you're looking forward to spending your Tuesday afternoon writing out your last will and testament, then we have a suggestion for you: Have your ashes converted into vinyl by And Vinyl.

The basic package will net you thirty records and costs $3093 -- which, if you ask us, isn't too much to ask for eternal remembrance. You'll have a wide array of options to choose from too, you can record a spoken word file, music or even silence, if you want to spook out your grandchildren, for some reason.

There are plenty of bonus options, as well, including a professional portrait and our favorite, "Travel the world," in which your record will be distributed in record shops around the world, meaning that if you've got a well-placed name (say, Jami Handrix) you'll likely get picked up by some random kid, potentially changing his life forever.

Of course, if you're hoping to go out with more of a bang than this, pets are also accepted. This begs the question, if copyright weren't an issue, what song would you put on the record made from your cremated ashes?

We'd opt for Dead or Alive's "You Spin me Round," but that's just because we can't seem to stop the terrible puns from coming out.

Order yours today.

Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

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Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.

 

Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.