SURVIVAL

Best News About Denver: It did not dissolve into a pool of goo. Not really.

Best Timing for a Party Invitation: Rocky Flats

Best Place to have a Nervous Breakdown: Mother Cabrini Shrine

Best Name for the New Airport: Dynasty International

Best Place to Kill Time at the Current Airport: Tee-Off & Take-Off

Best Place to Kill Time–and Brain Cells–at the Airport: The Oyster Bar, E Concourse

Best Place for Mother Teresa to Open Up Shop: The old Denver Post building

Best Stapleton Concourse: E Concourse

Best (and Perhaps Only Good) Thing about the Airport Campaign: Roger Ailes' defeat

Best Local Crime: The Grand Prix Reader's Poll: Silverado scam

Best Place to Panhandle: Outside the Mayan Reader's poll: 16th St./Larimer Square

Best Panhandler: Ron, the Boulder Mall

Best Unofficial Public Bathroom: 11th and Ogden

Best Official Public Bathroom: The Tabor Center

Best Place to Dump your Garbage: Galapago and Bayaud

Best Graffiti: Anarchy Alley

Best Sign: Dairy Queen

Best Suburb: Wheat Ridge Reader's Poll: Arvada

Best Lawn Ornaments from Hell Yard Display: 28th and Kearney

Best Sign with a Martini: Vern's Restaurant and Lounge

Best Place to Get a Driver's License: Capitol Hill People's Fair

Best Speed Trap: Auraria Parkway Reader's Poll: I-25 at I-225, 6th Ave. near Union

Best Cheap Parking Downtown: Allright Colorado, 23rd and Curtis

Best Commute: Boulder-Denver Express

Best Highway Improvement: I-25/6th Ave. Interchange

Best Alternative to I-25: Foothills Parkway (north) Santa Fe south)

Best Alternative to I-70: W. 44th Ave.

Best Renovation: The Denver Permit Center, 200 W. 14th Ave.

Best Candidate for Renovation: A.B. Hirschfeld Press Building

Best Use of Architectural Frills: The Far East Center

Best Use of an Old Quote in an Economic Development Ad: Pueblo Economic Development Corporation

Best Tourism Campaign: "Colorado's Outback-The Other Colorado"

Second-Best Tourism Campaign: "Throw Momma on a Train"

Best Roadside Attraction: Tarado Arriba

Best Place to Take Tourists: Red Rocks

Best Place to Scare the Bull out of Texans: Rollins Pass

Best Place for Tourists to Scare Denverites: Casa Bonita

Best Geological Formation: Across US 285 from the Fort

Best Place to See Bigfoot (and Best Way to Increase Colorado Springs' Tourism Trade): Pike's Peak

Best Place to See a Bald Eagle (winters only): Barbour Pond, I-25

Best Place to Play Hide and Seek: Central Bank Fountain

Best Place to Meet Men: Listen Up

Best Place to Meet Women: Home Club Retail Warehouse Store # 52

Best Place for a Nooner: The Colorado Railroad Museum

Best Place for a Quickie: Senate Chambers Observatory, State Capitol

Best Political Decision: To Kill Two Forks

Best Bumpersticker: "Denver: Piss on Your Lawns"

Second Best Bumpersticker: "Communist is Ugly"

Best Lawyer's Code: Denver Bar Association

Best Use of Taxpayers' Dollars: Women in Crisis

Best Abuse of Taxpayers' Dollars: IRS Fitness Center

Best Name for a Conference: "RTD: Working to move people in uncertain times"

Second Best Name for a Conference: "Are Members of our General Assembly Flexible?"

Best Statehouse Legislation: Pat Pascoe

Best Congressional Representative: Ben Nighthorse Campbell

Best Denver City Council Representative: Bill Roberts

Best Bureaucrat: Wellington Webb

Best Reason to Name a Mountain after Dick Lamm: Because he's there—and so are they

Best Move by the Best Bookstore: Tattered Cover

Best Religious (we think) Columnist: Vera Vick, "Denver Weekly News"

Best Paula Woodward Report: The Chia pet

Best Small Talk on a TV Newscast: Colorado Evening News, 6:30 pm, KCNC Channel 4

Best Local Boy Made Good: Harry Smith

Best Local Girl Made Good: Roseanne Barr

Best Performance by a Coloradan on the "Tonight Show": Scott Isaacs

SPORTS & RECREATION

Best Place to Plot the Avalanche Paths Around your Mountain Condo: Colorado Geological Society

Best Retro Description of a Ski Instructor: "GQ" Magazine

Best Kid's Ski Area: Beaver Creek

Best Place to Snowboard: Purgatory

Best Proof that Ice is Nice: Denver Curling Club

Best Place to Get Away From it All in the Middle of the City: Denver Botanic Gardens

Best Place to Take the Kids: Kid's Night Out, South Suburban Rec. Center

Best Place to Leave the Kids: Camp Hyatt, Hyatt Regency Denver

Best Thing to Do in the Dark: Star Parties, Gates Planetarium

Best View from a City Park: Inspiration Point

Best Make-Out Spot: Hut Hill

Best Boy-Watching: Rude Rec. Center weight room

Best Girl-Watching: 16th St. Mall

Best Place to Meet Swinging Singles: Kennedy Golf Course

Best Golf Greens and Fairways: Lakewood Country Club

Best New Miniature Golf Course: Adventure Golf

Best Theme for a Miniature Golf Course: Bicentennial Park, Aurora

Holy Smokes! Another Great Miniature Golf Course: Highlands Ranch

Best Park Improvement: Par Course, Crown Hill Park

Best New Park: Meyer Ranch Park, Aspen Park

Best Flyfishing Store: The Trout Fisher, 2020 S. Parker Rd.

Best Fly-Tying Lessons: Tom McMillan at the Flyfisher, 252 Clayton

Best Trout Fishing 30 Minutes from Downtown: Waterton Canyon

Best New Sport for the Handicapped: Hunting

Best Place for a Picnic: Lost Gulch Overlook, Flagstaff Mountain, Boulder

Best Road Bike Ride (off season): Lyons to Allenspark and Estes Park

Best Urban Bike Tour: Highline Canal

Best In-Town Downhill Rush: Ruby Hill

Best Cure for Airsickness: Ultralight demonstration flights, Morning Star Aviation

Best New Party Idea: Slunking

Best Urban Skateboard Ramp: 19th and Arapahoe

Best Replacement for the Annual Company Picnic: National Demographics & Lifestyles

Best Biker Group: Puttin' Sober

Best Place to Live out Your Lonesome Dove Fantasies: Lost Valley Ranch, Sedalia

Best Rustic Bed and Breakfast: The Creed Hotel, Creed

Best Close-Up Look at a Cliff Dwelling: Ute Mountain Indian Reservation

Best Train Trip–High End: Private Car Rentals Ansco Investment Co.

Best Train Trip–Low End: Limon Twilight Limited

Best Place to Get on Track: Caboose Hobbies

Best Guide to Public Land: Metro Mountain Recreation and Open Space Project

Lannie Garrett's Best Place to Work Out: Oxford Club

Best Bolder Boulder Running Team: Jogging Jihads

Best Way to Rev Up: "Race Day Radio Magazine" with Jann Scott, KJIM 760 AM

Best TV Sports Commentator: Les Shapiro, KCNC Channel 4 Reader's Poll: Ron Zappolo

Best Nugget: Fat Lever Reader's Poll: Alex English

Best Sports Ripoff: Colorado ski area lift ticket prices

Best Local Boy Turned Sports Hero: Tom Chambers

Best Place for Sports Fantasies to Come True: Paramount Park

Best Place for True-Blue (and Orange) Bronco Fans: Mr. K's Bronco Heaven

Best Bronco: John Elway Reader's Poll: John Elway

Best Warning Signs of Waning Broncomania: Season-ticketholders bailing out

Best Colorado Publication about Chicago Sports: Chicago SportScene

Best Sports Value: Denver Zephyrs Businessperson's Special

Best Sports Consultant: Robert Regoli, Sports Card Analyst

Best Reason for Denver to Get a Major League baseball team: To give Denver’s sports journalists something to do in the football off-season

Best Way to Use up Two Tons of Zucchini: CSU Cooperative Extension

Best Deal for Apple Tree Owners: Apple Cider Day, Wheat Ridge Historical Park

Best Garden: Independence House Family

Best Topiary: 1655 Utica St.

Best Colorado Gardener (in Memoriam): Herb Gundell

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Blinky the Clown's Best Place to Take the Kids: Blinky's Show

Best Free Entertainment on the Pearl St. Mall: The state's shortest skirts

Best Free Entertainment on the 16th St. Mall: The Right Reverend Marlon Brando

Best Free Colorado Entertainment on the Great White Way: The Palmer High Sextet

Best Festival Commemorating Something that no Longer Exists: Carbondale Potato Festival

Best Fundraiser: Suds 'n' Duds

Best Prom (tie): The Estelle S. Studs School of Charm Lesbian Prom; The Bouquets and Backseats Prom

Best New Museum Collection: Mr. Blackwell Gustafson CSU Dept. of Clothing & Textiles, Ft. Collins

Best House Tour: Thomas-Billings Home, Central City

Best Odd In-Town Museum: Sod House

Best Museum to Honor an Old Fad: The Cube Museum, Grand Junction

Best Monthly Singalongs: Mark Saiki's Singalong Group

Best Jukebox: Seven South

Best Gospel Hour: Madame Andrews' Gospel Hour

Best Poetry in Motion: Poetry Patterns

Best Radio Talk Show Host: Don Becker, KBXG 710 AM Reader's Poll: Mike Rosen

Best Radio Show for the Environmentally Aware: Terra Infirma, KGNU 88.5 FM

Best Radio Show for the Older Generation: Concerning Us, hosted by John Lindsay

Best TV Talk Show: Biff America, KSMT, Breckenridge

Best TV Pitchman: Bud's Mufflers

Best Late Night TV Ads: Channel 31

Best Movie Channel: Channel 59

Best Performance by a Denver Building in a TV Production: The old DA's building

Best Accidental Imitation of Chicago: Denver

Best Intentional Imitation of Chicago: Breckenridge

Best Movie Popcorn: AMC Theaters

Best New Screen: The Esquire

Best Movie Theatre For Buying Peruvian Headgear: The former Art Cinema in Boulder

Best Local Producer of Teen Slasher Videos: First Films

Best New Major: Film Studies at CU

Best Place to Watch a Dud: Continental Theatre

Best New Movie Theatre: Chez Artiste Cinema

Best Multiplex: Tivoli 12 Theatres

Best Movie Theatre: The Mayan

Best Movie Scene Filmed in Colorado: Opening sequence of "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade"

Best Performance by a Coloradan in a Movie: Vincent D'Onofrio in "Mystic Pizza"

Best Theatre Entrance: The Changing Scene

Best Move by a Theatre Group: SuTeatro's purchase of the Elyria School

Best New Play: "Dr. Antonio's imaginary Disease" by Mike Chappelle

Best Touring Show: "You Strike the Woman, You Strike the Rock" The Visisizwe Players

Best Musical: "Carousel" Denver Center Theatre Company

Best Ensemble: "The Fox" Hunger Artists

Best Supporting Actor: Stephen Black, "Landscape of the Body" Hunger Artists

Best Supporting Actress: Leslie Hendrix, "The Matchmaker" Denver Center Theatre Company

Best Actor: Barry Wallace, "Fun" Boulder Repertory Theatre

Best Actress: Anne F. Butler, "The Darling" Germinal Stage Denver

Best Production: "Ma Rainey's Black Bottom" Studio E Theatre Ensemble

Best New Theatre: Heatley's Tea House, 266 S. Downing

Best Director: Tom Rowen, "landscape of the Body," Hunger Artists

Best Local Theatre Group: Hunger Artists

Best Performance Art Event: George Monchak, Pirate fundraiser

Best Installation: "Personal Espionage," by Mark Brasuell, Edge Gallery

Best Seasonal Sculpture: Laura Audrey's huge snake

Best Cultural Gallery: Studio PaNdau, 1825 Blake St.

Best Proof that the Santa Fe Look has Peaked: Mr. Potato Head, AlphaGallery

Best Art Openings: Pirate: A Contemporary Art Oasis

Best Art Opening Eats: News Gallery

Best Alternative Performance Art Performance: Harry Lyrico, Pirate

Best Museum Show: "La Antorcha de Quetzacoatl" Leo Tanguma, Denver Art Museum

Best Arts Program for the Sandbox Set: Arvada Center for the Arts and Humanities

Best News for Local Artists: Rocky Mountain Women's Institute

Best Evidence that the DSO Never Learns: Canceling the season midway

Best Classical Music Group: The Denver Chamber Orchestra

Best Classical Recital: Donald Pearson, Bach birthday organ concert at St. John's Cathedral

Best Musical Ambassador: Don Ambler

Best Classical Music Series: KCFR Evenings at 8

Best Band of the Century: The Denver Municipal Band

Best Classical Radio Program: Jeanna Wearing, KPOF 910 AM

Best Jazz Radio Station: KUVO 89.3 FM

Best Bets to Become Jazz Greats: Day Hoof and UNC Jazz Combo I

Best Commercial Career Move for a Jazz Musician: Nelson Rangell

Best Artistic Career Move for a Jazz Musician: Joe Anderies

Best Theme Concert Series: Gibson's Fats Waller, Cole Porter, Gershwin and Denver Jazz

Best Jazz Club: El Chapultepec Reader's poll: El Chapultepec

Best Jazz Musician: Art Lande

Best Jazz Group: Ron Mile Trio/Quartet Reader's poll: Dotsero

Best Collaboration: Spike Robinson & Rob Mullins "The Odd Couple"

Best New-Age Recording by a Local Artist: Bill Douglas, "Jewel Lake"

Best Local Recording for Kids: Michael Stanwood, "Something Awful Can Be Wonderful"

Best Nationally Known Local Label: Silver Wave

Best Local Rock Record: The 40th Day, "Something Hidden Here"

Best Original Song: The Jonez, "Rat-ta-tat-tat"

Best Rock on TV (tie): "Teletunes" & "The Music Link"

Best Street Musician: Bill Atkinson Reader's poll: Pat Garret

Best Fanzine: The Core

Best Folkie: Carla Sciaky

Best Blues Band: The Last Fair Deal Reader's poll: Bob Hornbuckle

Best Underground Band: Human Head Transplant

Best Thrash Band: Soak

Best Heavy Metal Band: Rena Care Reader's poll: Squealer

Best in-limbo band: Shades of Persuasion

Best guitar god: Mike Serviolo, Jux County

Best Understated Guitar: Tommy Malone, Subdudes

Best Local Dance Band: Chris Daniels & the Kings Reader's poll (tie): 4 Nikators, Subdudes

Best Local Band with a Conscience: The Jonez

Best Cover Band: Laughing Sam's Dice

Best Longevity in a Local Band: The Jinns

Best Gyrations: Tod Wulfmeyer

Best Band for a Laugh: The Korvettes

Best Band to Watch: Wanker

Best Band Name: Nerves Like Eels

Best Alternative Band: Twice Wilted

Best Band to Hit the Big Time: The Subdudes

Best Local Rock Band: Big Head Todd & the Monsters

Best Arena Show of the Year: Metallica and Queensryche "Damaged Justice" tour

Best Concert of the Year: Lou Reed, Paramount Theatre Reader's poll: Pink Floyd

Best Bimbos: Fiddler's Green Pool Party

Best Bouncer: Michael Jackson

Best Grossout Club Entrance: Rock Island

Best Club with an Open Mind: Penny Lane Coffeehouse

Best Club DJ: Tim Ward, Club Tower

Jake Jabs' Best Place to Sit In With the Band: Bo & Eddie's

Best Open Stage: Decatur's Friendship Inn Reader's poll: Red Rocks

Best All-Ages Shows: Aztlan Theatre

Best Club for New Bands: Tequila Sunrise

Best Lite Metal Club: Bangles

Best Heavy Metal Club: Club Maxxx Reader's poll: Bangles

Best Club for Original Music: The Garage at 23 Parrish

Best Dance Club: 23 Parrish Reader's poll: Rock Island

Best Reincarnated Concert Hall: The Boulder Theater

Best Rock Club: JJ McCabes Reader's poll: Ziggie's

Best Country-Western Bar: Michael B's Saloon Reader's poll: Zanza Bar

Best Honkytonk: Coffey's Korner

Best Slavic Hangout: Tatra, Highway 38, one mile north of Lyons

Best Piano Bar/Pianist: Charlie Brown's/Paul Lopez Reader's poll: Ivory

Best Happy Hour Spread: 23 Parrish

Best Happy Hour Hours: Ogden Street South

Best Elvis Impersonator Who Looks Nothing Like the King: Louis Ortiz

Best Proof that Elvis Has Risen: "Church of the Living Elvis" Pantheistic Dictionary exhibit, News Gallery

Best Elvis Poetry in Emotion: "Elvis, We Still Love You Tender"

Best Moment Commemorating Elvis: The Future, live at McNichols Arena

Best Elvis Relic in the Denver Police Department: Jerry Kennedy's autographed picture of the king

Best New Elvis-Related Project: Larry Mahan's Barbecue and Dipping Sauce

Best Gay Bar: The Compound Reader's poll: Charlie's

Best Student Union: The Tivoli

Best Sports Bar: Maxfield & Friends Reader's poll: Ironworks

Best Mountain Bar: The Bucksnort Saloon

Best Comedy Club: The Bustop Reader's poll: Comedy Works

Best Hoser Bar: Smiling Moose Bar & Grill

Best Teen Club: Rock Island

Best Thirtysomething Bar: Wynkoop Brewing Company

Best Neighborhood Bar–Downtown: The Billabong

Best Neighborhood Bar–East: The Mozart Lounge

Best Neighborhood Bar–South: Monaghan's

Best Neighborhood Bar–West: Pig 'n Whistle

Best Neighborhood Bar–Boulder: West End Tavern

Best Coffeehouse: Muddy's Java Café

GOODS AND SERVICES

Best Bargain: King Soopers one-cent horse ride Reader's poll: Ross Dress for Less

Best Birthday Bargain: Fire House Car Wash

Best Free, Non 976-number: True Confessions, 777-9754

Best Free Advice This Side of a Bartender: Thursday Night Bar Program

Best Free Condoms–Day: Planned Parenthood

Best Free Condoms–Night: Colorado AIDS Project

Brian Nalty's Best Rock-and-Roll Hair-Care Tip: Dax Wax

Best AIDS Service: AIDS Buyer's Club

Best AIDS Test: Wayne Thrasher

Best Blood Bank From a Donor's Point of View: Children's Hospital

Best Menopause Seminar: Lutheran Medical Center

Best Impotency Seminar: Lutheran Medical Center

Best True Drug Store: Tejon Drug Co.

Best Discount Drugstore: Drug Emporium

Best Convenient Recycling: King Soopers, all locations

Best Complete Recycler: Friedman & Sons

Best Place to Get the Straight Poop: Denise Sims, Up Yours

Best Photo Booth: Arvada Center for the Arts and Humanities

Best Help for the Terminally Timid: The Shyness Network

Best Yenta: Introductions by Ruth

Best Inexpensive Way to Propose: Mile High Stadium

Best Inexpensive Way to Cater your Wedding: "Do It Yourself"

Best Cheesy Window Display: Jerry's News West

Best Window Display: Card Blanche Readers poll: May D&F

Best One-Stop Shopping Binge: Factory Outlet Mall, Silverthorne

Best Place to Buy Colorado Souvenirs: Union Station gift shop Reader’s poll: Woolworth's

Best Weird Party Favors: Colorado Party and Novelty

Best Votive Candles and Voodoo Supplies: El Caridd del Cobre

Best Alchemist: Adriel

Best Way to Recharge your Batteries: Isis New Age Center

Best Place to Spend Money and Have Nothing to Show For It on Purpose: Fads

Best Store for People Who Refuse to Grow Up: Firecrackers Malt & Burger Shoppe

Best Sign that Colorado's Economy has Yet to Recover: Wedgle's Music and Loan

Best Thrift Shop Trade Triangle: Family Thrift Center; Goodwill Industries; Value Village

Best Thrift Shop Opening: Value Village

Best Thrift Store: Disabled American Veterans Stores Readers poll: Value Village

Best Antiques for Adventure: The Antique Zoo

Best Mammy-rabilia: Darcelle's Gallery

Best Import Shop: More for Less

Best Store for African Knickknacks: Zebra Imports

Best Hobby Store: Thompson's Hobbies & Crafts Reader’s poll: Caboose Hobbies

Best Bead Supply: Ornamental Resources

Best Necklace-Stringing Stuff: Maroon Bells

Best Chic Fabric Store: Buttons 'n' Trims

Best Deals on Fabrics: Fabric Outlet

Best Bracelets Made from Wolf Fur: Kent Weber, Mission: Wolf

Best Way to Imitate Pepe Lepew: Arnold's Furs, Cedaredge

Best Colorado Jewelry—High End: Chipita

Best Colorado Jewelry—Low End: Liz'art

Best June Cleaver Decorating Accessories: Flashback

Best Vintage Cowboy Furniture and Decorations: Crybaby Ranch

Best Biker Maternity Togs: Rocky Mountain Harley Davidson

Best Toy Store Without Barbie and G.I. Joe: Follow Your Heart

Best Unpretentious Kid's Clothing: My Kids Clothes

Best Vintage (also best singing cowboy clothes): Poparama Reader’s poll: Poparama

Best Place to Buy Spurs: Miller Stockman

Best Rock & Roll/Bondage Shoes: The Wild Pair

Best Place to Foot the Bill: Sox Appeal

Best Place to Buy Pantyhose: TJ Maxx

Best Washable Leather Bustiers: Pollyanna

Best Innovative Colorado Designers: Ragazzi

Best Place to Buy a Ceremonial Robe: Mesa Imports

Best Do-Rags—Price: Woolworth's

Best Do-Rags—Selection: Tapestry

Best Deal on Synthetic Hair: PriceMart Beauty Supply

Best Rock-and-Roll Tattooing: Tattooing by Mickie

Best Repair Job When your Hair's Been Ruined: Staxx Salon

Best Old-Time Barbershop: Bob's

Best Tanning Salon: The Beach

Best Place to Get a Tan the Natural Way: Inverness Golf Course

Best Quick Shoe Repair: Cobbler's Corner

Best Solution for the Terminally Messy: Launderama Club

Best Location for a Church: Base-Mar Shopping Center, Boulder

Best Pet Service for Couch Potatoes: Aqua Imports, Boulder

Best Colorado Kitty Litter: Litter Kit

Best Deal on Pet Immunizations: Wadsworth Veterinary Clinic

Best Hands-Off Way to Walk Your Dog: Jordan Walkers

Best Canine Toenail Clipping: Ansel Walters, Pet Ranch

Best Guilt-Free Mouse Supply: Tropic Seas Pet Store

Best Place to Take Your Pet When Your Vet Can't Help: Colorado State University Teaching Hospital, Fort Collins

Best Way to Survive Your Pet's Demise: Pet Loss Support Group, Denver Dumb Friends League

Best Way to Go: The Monarch Society

Best Coffins: Anna Koop, Catholic Worker House

Best Cheap Travel Course: Jim Emery

Best Ride from the Airport: Blackjack Limo

Best Limo Driver: Peter Fair, TCG Limousines

Best Gas Station: Conoco, Speer at Zuni

Best Place to Buy Gas: Hampden and Yosemite

Best Deal on Wheels: Lemon-Aid of America

Second Best Deal on Wheels: Automotive Mobile Diagnostic Service

Best Female Automotive Aid: Mary Jackson, "Women on Wheels"

Best Phone Answering Machine Repair Service: A-V Service

Best Truly Affordable Alternative to Public School and Daycare: Chaslou Academy

Best Financial Institution: The Young Americans Bank

Best Post Office: The Terminal Annex

Best Undiscovered Post Office: May D&F's Bargain Basement

Best Apartment Managers: Bob and Pat Albach, Casa Cordova Apartments

Best Salvage Yard: Blake's Small Car Salvage, Erie

Best Place to Find a Good Screw: A&I Bolt and Nut

Best Lumberyard: Little Guy Lumber Company

Best Furniture Knockoffs: Avis Upholstery Studio

Best Plumbing Bargains: Do-It-Ur-Self Plumbing & Heating

Best Replacement Tiles: Capco

Best Place to Buy a Used Sledgehammer: Charlie's 2nd Hand Store Inc.

Best Mac-Doctor Making Housecalls: Gerritt Dunn

Best Commodore Computer Repair: The Commodore Connection

Best Computer Store: CW Electronics Reader’s poll: CW Electronics

Best-Named Computer Store: User Friendly

Best Shoplifting Spies: Anne Droid Mannequin, Restoration

Best Place to Hire a Business Snitch: Caldwell & Associates

Best Head Shop: Heads of State Reader’s poll: Trails

Best Emergency Preparedness Equipment: Harloff Manufacturing Company's "Response Carts"

Best Library for Former Employees with a Mission: Oil, Chemical and Atomic Workers International Union Library

Best Business Library: Auraria Library

Best Jungian Cards and Calendars: Barbara Stone

Best Women's Bookstore: The Bookgarden: A Women's Store

Best Used Bookstore: Capitol Hill Books Readers poll: Capitol Hill Books

Best Book Sale: Denver Public Library

Best Metaphysical Bookstore: Metaphysical Books

Best Trucker's Delight: Falcon Books and Video

Best Porno Arcade Bargain: Pleasures Broadway Bookstore

Best Video Store: Across the Trax Reader’s poll: King Soopers

Best Guitarman: Chris Herbert, Longenecker Guitars

Best Hollywood-opening-style Searchlights: Fastlane Productions' Sky-Tracker

Best Used Record Store: Albums on the Hill Reader’s poll: Wax Trax

Best Record Store Flashback: JB&H Records & Tapes

Best News for Bass Players: First Bass

Best Deadhead Cakes: Haagen Dazs, Crossroads Mall, Boulder

Best Bakery: Gateaux

Best Organic Convenience Store: Wild Oats Market

Best Convenience Store: 7-Eleven Reader’s poll: 7-Eleven

Best Deal on Spices: The Spice Company

Best Wine Store—Value: Applejack Liquors

Best Wine Store—Quality: The Vineyard

Best Selection of Non-Alcoholic Wines: Arrow Liquormart

Best Beer Bargains: Logan Liquors

Best Freebies: The Coffee Nut

Best Seasonal Local Drink: Royal Crest Egg Nog

Best Fruit and Vegetable Stand: Garramone Produce Co. Reader’s poll: Farmer's Market at Market Street Station

Best Homegrown Candy: Enstrom's Toffee

Best Political Statement by a Grocery Store: Alfalfa's

Best Place to Buy Sheep Heads: King Soopers

Best Use of Produce: Cub Foods

Best Supermarket Banter: Safeway

Best Grocery Store: Orchard Market Reader’s poll: King Soopers

Best Pigs: Registered Wenglar Red Waddle Roger Thayer, Montrose

Best Pig on a Menu: Pig On A Bun, Eddie Bohn's Pig 'N' Whistle Motel

Best Dubious Pig Distinction: Kersey, Colorado

Best Piggy Bank: The Public Market at Aurora

Best Yard Pigs: Mile-Hi Statuary

FOOD AND DRINK

Best Restaurant Owned by a Former Game Show Host: Saloon, Breckenridge

Best View from a Fast-Food Restaurant: Taco Bell

Best View from a Snack Bar: Buffalo Bill Museum

Best-Stocked Restaurant Bathroom: Strings

Best Restroom Service: Ron Coleman, 23 Parrish

Best Restaurant for Illicit Romantic Activities: The Bay Wolf

Perhaps Not Coincidentally, Best Toothbrushes in a Restaurant: The Bay Wolf

Best Place to Take Someone Else's Spouse: Rodney's

Best Restaurant for a Romantic Dinner: Gabriel's, Sedalia

Best-Dressed Waiters: New Saigon

Best Waiters' Shirts this side of NYC: Spanky's

Best Busboy: Matt Jones, Juanita's

Best Waitperson: Dino, Little Pepina's

Best All-American Waitresses: Duffy's

Best Calendar Collection: Bud's Drive-In

Best Cleavage on a Menu: La Fiesta

Best Cleavage, RIP: The Canterbury Inn

Best Decor Guaranteed to Inspire Middle-Aged Men: Ruby

Best Romantic Decor: Amethyst Room at Cliff Young's

Best Sleek Decor: Lincoln 100

Best Restaurant Art: Wynkoop Brewing Company

Best Chalkboard Drawings: Chili's

Best Buffalo Paraphernalia (not just on the plate): Mountain Man Steak House

Best Waffle: Gov. Roy Romer

Best Waffles: D Wesley's Restaurant

Best Cheap Breakfast: Park Lane Café

Best Country Breakfast: Karen's Bakery, Village Square, Louisville

Best Way to Retrieve a Day that Started out Wrong: El Taco de Mexico

Best Pig-Out Sunday Brunch: Boulderado Hotel

Best healthy breakfast: The Harvest

Best Cheap Lunch for Seniors: Any Denver public elementary school

Best Place to Eat Instead of the East High Cafeteria: Gyros Place

Best Cheap Lunch: Carol's Soup Kitchen

Best Unexpected Lunch Spot: Shivers at the Icehouse

Best Tea Room: The Rose Tea Room

Best Non-Traditional High Tea: Broadway Lites

Best Dinner Under $5: McCormick's Fish House and Bar Reader's poll: Brick Oven Beanery

Best Delicious, Nutritious Dinner in a Bowl, Under $5: Thai Hiep

Best Sunday Dinner: Weldon's

Best Late Night Meal: Chives American Bistro Reader's poll (tie): Village Inn, Paris on the Platte

Best Place for Coffee and Great City Blues All Night Long: The Doll House

Best Drive-In: Sonic Drive-In

Best Greasy Spoon: Butcher Block II

Best Outdoor Cafe: El Noa Noa Reader’s poll: Paramount

Best Food Court: Plaza Court Emporium

Best Food Cart on the Mall: Burrito Terrace Readers poll: Classic Coffee Cart

Best Popcorn Stand: Queen City Popcorn

Best Place to Take the Kids: Show Biz Pizza

Best Place to Take the Kids and Still Have an Adult Time: Racine's

Best Place for Kids to Monkey Around With Their Food: The Children's Museum

Best Children's Menu: Wheat Ridge Dairy and Bakery

Best Reason Not to Bitch about the Cultural District Tax: T-Rex Cafe, Denver Museum of Natural History

Best Alternative to Hospital Food: Blue House Tea Room

Best Restaurant Recovery: The Blue Parrot Restaurant

Best Take-Out Food: Sapp Brothers Truck Stop

Best Truck Stop: Lance's Chuck Wagon

Best Delicatessen: Goldie's Reader’s poll: Goldie's

Best Take-Out Deli: FBC Foods

Best Fresh Vegetables at Your Fingertips: Colorado Farm Fresh Directory

Best Ethnic Cooperation: Pete's Fruits and Vegetables

Best Vegetarian Food: Govinda's, Radha Krsna Temple

Best Place to Slip Back into the Seventies: Avagadro's Number

Best ABC Chocolate Fix: Colorado Mud

Best ABC Way to Get Kids to Eat Sprouts: The "Wee Sprouts" Edible Toy

Best ABC Way to Clear Your Sinuses: Sahnana's Native Mustseed Sauce

Best ABC Salsa: Singing Pig Salsa

Best ABC Honey: Paul Hendricks

Best Health Food: Greens

Best Unexpectedly Healthy Food: New York Connection

Best Salad Bar: Denver Salad Company Reader’s poll: Healthy Habits

Best Bread to Go: Great Harvest Bakery

Best Greads to Eat In: Tante Louise

Best Apple Dumpling: Gaylord's Deli and Catering

Best Bread Pudding: Transalpin

Best Cookie Bargain: Blue Chip Cookies

Best Desserts: Calvin's Before & After Reader’s poll: Marie Callenders

Best Chocolate Dessert: The Negrita, The Fort

Best Wine List: Flagstaff House

Best Beer List: Old Chicago

Best Frogs' Legs List: New Saigon

Best Legal Rush: Thai coffee to go, Tommy's Oriental

Best Deal on Cappuccino: The Brown Bag

Best Donuts: Henderson's Donut House

Best Frou-Frou Drink: The Beach Grill Reader’s poll: Deep Throat at the Punchbowl

Best Gourmet Takeout: Discriminating Palate

Best Chicken Noodle Soup To Go: Healthy Habits

Best BLT: Avenue Bar & Grill

Best French Fries: Annie's Cafe Reader’s poll: McDonalds

Best Potato Salad: Continental Delicatessen

Best Onion Rings: Luther's Bar-B-Q

Best Pizza: The Wazee Supper Club Reader’s poll: Bonnie Brae

Best Specialty Pizza: The spinach slice at Armando's of Cherry Creek

Best Delivery of a Certified Pizza: Domino's

Best Hot Beef Sandwich: Gray's Café

Best Sandwiches: Maria's Bakery Readers poll (tie): Goldie's, Subway

Best Hotdogs: The Dog House Readers poll: Mustard's Last Stand

Best Burger: J.B. Winberie Readers poll (tie): Wendy's, My Brother's Bar

Best FGB: My Brother's Bar

Best Burger After Midnight: Oinks Diner,

Best Sausages, Occidental: Wynkoop Brewing Company

Best Sausages, Oriental: Chao Praya

Best Steakhouse: Morton's of Chicago

Best Fried Chicken: Foucher's Creole Cafe Reader’s poll: Kentucky Fried Chicken

Best Cheap Steak: Club 404

Best Chicken-Fried Steak: The Broken Spoke

Best Barbecue: M & D's Barbecue and Fish Palace Reader’s poll: Bennett's

Best White Trash Food: Furr's Cafeteria Reader’s poll: Black-Eyed Pea

Best Soul Food: Pierre's Supper Club Reader’s poll: Daddy Bruce's

Best Seafood: Mostly Seafood Reader’s poll: Mostly Seafood

Best Oysters: McCormick's Fish House and Oyster Bar

Best Fish & Chips: Yorkshire Fish & Chips

Best Fried Calamari: La Petite Spain

Best Paella: Don Quijote

Best South American Food: Cafe Brazil

Best Southwestern Food: Las Brisas

Best Chips and Salsa: Rosa Linda Mexican Cafe Reader’s poll: Blue Bonnet Café

Best Breakfast Burrito: Unidos Café

Best Nachos: Juanita's Uptown

Best Mexican To Go: Chubby's

Best Green Chile: Brewery Bar II Reader’s poll: Chubby's

Best Chile Relleno: Rosa Linda Mexican Cafe Reader’s poll: La Fiesta

Best Chimichanga: Sportsman's II

Best Burrito: El Tepehuan Reader’s poll: Chubby's

Best Taco: Mexico City Lounge Reader’s poll: Taco Bell

Best Bar Mex That's Moved Into the Big Time: Benny's Place

Best Mexican Restaurant: La Casa De Manuel Reader’s poll: Blue Bonnet Café

Best Russian Restaurant: Little Russian Tea Room

Best Indian Restaurant: India's

Best Middle Eastern Restaurant: Cedars

Best Greek Restaurant: Voula's Reader’s poll: It's Greek to Me

Best Place to Practice Speaking German with Your Mouth Full: Karl's F.F. Delicatessen

Best Cheap Italian To Go: Pasta Jay's

Best Italian Classico: Little Pepina's

Best Italian Nouvella: Olive Oil Reader’s poll: Al Fresco's

Best French Restaurant: European Cafe Reader’s poll: Le Central

Best Thai Restaurant: J's Noodles Reader’s poll: J's Noodles

Best Cha Gio: Kim Ba

Best Vietnamese Restaurant: Long Binh Reader’s poll: T-Wa's

Best Sushi with Shrine: Sushi Tora Reader’s poll: Sushi Den

Best Gyoza: Daylight Donuts

Best Japanese Restaurant—Low End: Don Don Reader’s poll: Kokoro

Best Japanese Restaurant—High End: Samurai

Best Dim Sum: China Terrace

Best Chinese Restaurant: The Panda Cafe Reader’s poll: Imperial

Best Eclectic—Oriental: Chez Thoa

Best Eclectic—Occidental: John's

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Best Restaurant On Its Way Up: Zenith, The Tivoli

Best New Restaurant: The Panda Reader’s poll: Weldon's

Best Restaurant When Someone Else is Paying: Flagstaff House, Boulder

Best of Everything Combined: Strings