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Broncos MVP in win over Bengals: Jesus Christ

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Yesterday, the Denver Broncos beat the Cincinnati Bengals 12-7. But the victory wouldn't have taken place without divine intervention. With well under a minute to go, struggling quarterback Kyle Orton heaved a pass in the direction of disgruntled wideout Brandon Marshall, but Bengals defender Leon Hall got to the ball first. Hall could have easily swatted the ball into the turf, but he didn't -- and instant replay reveals why. Just before Hall's hand makes contact with the pigskin, a flicker moves across the screen (it's especially clear on HD), signifying that Jesus Christ's spirit has entered his body. Thanks to the power of J.C. (and we're not talking about Jay Cutler), Hall was unable to swat the ball harmlessly into the turf. Instead, it smacked it, volleyball-style, straight into the arms of Brandon Stokely, who ran it in for the winning touchdown.

Jesus waited until the very last minute to come to the Broncos aid, for understandable reasons. Even He probably assumed Denver would be able to handle the woeful Bengals without His help. While His efforts prove that the Broncos occupy a special place in His heart, however, there's no guarantee He'll reach out and help down the line. In addition to being a busy guy, Jesus is a perennial free agent who's always resisted the temptation to tie himself down permanently to any team. For that reason, the Orton and company may have to make their own miracles if the season is to end on a heavenly note. Still, Broncos fans owe their Lord and Savior a special prayer of thanks. Praise Jesus!

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Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.


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