Build the Wall (Between Colorado and New Mexico)!

While the country's border enforcement hasn't managed to stop immigration, the debate over funding a wall has definitely shut down our government. Numerous patriots are trying to help out, including Florida vet Brian Kolfage, a triple amputee whose GoFundMe campaign has grabbed headlines and millions in commitments to build Trump's wall. Hearing about such efforts inspired Denver musician Will Hayden to come up with his own GoFundMe campaign to build a wall, this one around Colorado. Here's the pitch:
Here in Colorado we are being accosted by outsiders jacking up our rent, smoking our weed and using our preciously fracked energy. We need a WALL around Colorado to stop people from entering. In addition, I promise to use these funds to attempt to force out anyone who has moved here in the last 10 years in an effort to MAKE COLORADO GREAT AGAIN!!!

Who am I? angry coloradan
what am I doing? BUILDING WALL
Hayden is part of the band Television Generation, which has played the Westword Music Showcase and also supports social-justice causes. He also spent time in La Junta (where he wrote for the newspaper), so he knows all about the evils of neighboring New Mexico. He also knows the dangers of taking yourself too seriously. "With the whole Trump border wall talk going around," he explains, "with everyone raising funds for this silly thing, I decided, why not just build a wall around Colorado?"

So far, his campaign has netted a lot of laughs and shares, but not a single cent toward its admittedly lofty $1 million goal.
click to enlarge
The image on Brian Kolfage's fundraising page.
Meanwhile, Kolfage's "We the People Will Fund the Wall" campaign has already attracted $18 million in commitments, plucking on heartstrings and plucking out wallets with sentiments like this:
Like a majority of those American citizens who voted to elect President Donald J Trump, we voted for him to Make America Great Again. President Trump’s main campaign promise was to BUILD THE WALL. And as he’s followed through on just about every promise so far, this wall project needs to be completed still....

Democrats are going to stall this project by every means possible and play political games to ensure President Trump doesn’t get his victor. They'd rather see President Trump fail, than see America succeed. However, if we can fund a large portion of this wall, it will jumpstart things and will be less money Trump has to secure from our politicians.
The GoFundMe site directs all contributions to a post office box in Castle Rock. Given that Kolfage lives in Florida, that address initially raised suspicions, but Amanda Shea, a friend of Kolfage's and a resident of the Colorado town, told 9News that she and her husband, Tim, helped create the GoFundMe with Kolfage and volunteered to handle collections because it's easier for them to get to the post office.

If the wall isn't built, she says, the money will be refunded. Hayden has a more practical idea if anyone actually contributes to his campaign.

"If people did donate to it, I'd probably find a charity...maybe for ladders," he promises. And that's a better deal than contributing to Kolfage's campaign, "the dumbest fundraiser I’ve ever heard of."

Update: Soon after this post first went live on December 28, GoFundMe took Hayden's prank campaign offline. "The MAN trying to keep me down," he reports. He created a new page; this story has been updated with that link, which is working. For now...
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Patricia Calhoun co-founded Westword in 1977; she’s been the editor ever since. She’s a regular on the weekly CPT12 roundtable Colorado Inside Out, played a real journalist in John Sayles’s Silver City, once interviewed President Bill Clinton while wearing flip-flops, and has been honored with numerous national awards for her columns and feature-writing.
Contact: Patricia Calhoun