Film and TV

Craig Ferguson: An army of "little people" could take over Denver

On Friday, Late Late Show laff-maker Craig Ferguson talked about his impending trip to Denver, a city that makes him poop funny. But as last night's program proved, he survived this fecal mutation -- and, as a bonus, he came away with a new plan to take over the city using an army of "little people."

Ferguson, who came here for a Tattered Cover reading, started off his Colorado commentary, on view above, by complaining about how chilly the city was in comparison with his L.A. digs, declaring, "It's like living on a cold cloud." Then he added, "If I had an army of little people, I would take them to Denver, because they'd have the advantage over normal... regular height people, tall people. Because the tall people, like, had no oxygen at all, and an army of little people could take over using their height as an advantage, sucking the oxygen from a slightly lower altitude. They would feel stronger and mightier... They would use their smallness of stature to take over the entire town."

That's Scott McInnis's campaign strategy in a nutshell.

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts