Sports

Cry me a (Philip) Rivers, San Diego!

As we all know, Chargers QB Philip Rivers is a dick. Even most of the people who like him would agree -- and given the Broncos' performances against SD over the past several years, his dickishness has been able to reign supreme. So even more satisfying than Denver's 34-23 victory last night were the expressions on Rivers' face amid the action. Anger as Elvis Dumervil closed in on him again and again. Shock as Eddie Royal returned yet another boot for a touchdown. Disbelief that there could be so much of a difference between the Mike Shanahan-led team the Chargers dismantled at the end of last season and the one helmed by Josh McDaniels.

The coach looked even younger than usual on the sidelines: His hoodie was so pajama-like that he resembled Harold looking for his purple crayon. But the defensive schemes implemented by him and Mike Nolan created the kind of pressure the Broncos haven't put on opponents in ages, and his err-not offense slowly, methodically wore down the Bolts, leaving Rivers with nothing to do but sit on the sidelines and pout. That's one way to deflate a dick.

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts