Ask a Stoner

Dear Stoner: Can I Substitute Pot for Pain Meds?

Dear Stoner: I was just released from the hospital with an aneurysm in my groin. They gave me Oxycodone, but it's too strong for me. I was wondering if smoking a little pot would relieve me in terms of pain and my appetite.
Vegas Jimmy

Dear Jimmy: Pain meds are no joke; they can cause as much discomfort as they help mask. I was given Percocet after surgery a few months ago and found myself in the same boat: too high from the pills and no appetite. Pot helped, though for me it doesn't so much kill the pain as it does allow me to ignore it. But that's all pain pills seem to do, too — and pot is much more comfortable and manageable. I relied on some heavy Kush varieties like Skywalker OG and Bubba Kush to help manage the pain without sending my head into the stratosphere. For appetite, sativas usually work best for me; mixing in a bowl of Sour Diesel or 707 Headband every now and then got me hungry enough to put back some of the pounds I'd lost during surgery. But don't ignore your pain or suffer needlessly: If the pot doesn't work out, ask your doctor to prescribe a pain med that isn't as strong (or addictive) as Oxycodone.

Dear Stoner: Who's your pick for the Super Bowl?
Sad Broncos Fan

Dear Fan: Our pick for the Super Bowl is a super-sized bowl of 303 Kush. Beyond that, I won't be watching the game — but I can tell you what you'll see if you do: The nowhere-near-as-good-as-last-year Seahawks are going to get heavily outplayed by the Pats (who, for some reason, felt they had to cheat their way to the big game). As for me, I'll be getting stoned and watching Mikaela Shiffrin take on the world's greatest ski racers at the FIS Alpine World Championship in Beaver Creek and Vail.

Dear Stoner: We're coming to Colorado for a ski trip to Breck. There are four of us, so how much pot can we buy in total? Also, do dispensaries sell pipes?
Tourist Tim

Dear Tim: Out-of-staters are limited to a quarter-ounce per purchase at a dispensary, though the law protects you up to an ounce. You four can walk out of a dispensary with a combined ounce — and you can also hit up three more shops and legally have four ounces between you to smoke during your short stay. Good luck with that, and remember: You can give away what you don't use, so tip your bellman well.

As for pipes, almost all pot shops sell them — but they're often the cheap, foreign-made kind. I suggest visiting a head shop instead, one like Illuzion Glass in Denver, Heady Glass in Englewood or the famous Cowboy in Breckenridge.

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William Breathes
Contact: William Breathes