Dear Stoner: Is There a Class for Pot Newbies?

Dear Stoner: I could really use instructions on how to break apart a nugget, clean a grinder and roll a joint. Is there an intro-to-marijuana class somewhere?
New to Nugs

Dear Nugs: Most people take Pot Smoking 101 during high school or college, but there are plenty of ways to learn about proper cheeba use without revealing yourself as a newb. Instructional classes on marijuana usually focus on more advanced topics, such as hash-making, cooking with cannabis or the details of marijuana law and regulations, so you won’t find any courses on how to break up a nug (use your hands) or clean a grinder (scrub with rubbing alcohol and rinse with water). But fortunately, we live in the Age of Google. I’ve been YouTubing how to tie a necktie for about six months now, and our former Stoner helped readers out by compiling a “Marijuana 101 — How to Roll a Joint” video on our website a couple of years back. Some recreational classes (Sushi and Joint Rolling; Puff, Pass & Paint, etc.) that we list in our weekly Cannabis Calendar at will expose you to new experiences while teaching artistic skills at the same time. The best way to get good at anything, however, is to practice, practice, practice.

Dear Stoner: Is marijuana massage a real thing? How will the infused oils affect my body or state of mind?
Khaleesi B.

Dear Khaleesi: Marijuana massage studios are one of many businesses sprouting off Colorado’s legalized plant, but their rising popularity seems to have started a trend that other legal states may soon follow. Cannabis-infused topicals and CBD oils have become a hot item on dispensary shelves, thanks to the relaxation and pain relief they bring without the psychoactive effects associated with marijuana. Many massage parlors still won’t touch it (the American Massage Therapy Association doesn’t have an official position, and pot-infused lotions aren’t used at most massage-therapy schools), but a growing number of marijuana-friendly studios will. LoDo Massage offers a Mile-High Massage package with Apothecanna cream; Behr Bodywork on Colfax features a Medicated Massage package with CBD oils and lotions; and Denver-based My 420 Tours will bring the cannabis massage to your home or hotel room. Although the lotion is made with active ingredients of the plant and is absorbed through the skin, no THC enters your system, because it doesn’t reach your bloodstream — leaving your mind clear and your pee free of incriminating evidence in the workplace.

Got a question for our stoner? Hit us up at [email protected] or leave a message on the potline at 303-293-2222.

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Herbert Fuego is the resident stoner at Westword, ready to answer all your marijuana questions.
Contact: Herbert Fuego