Politics

Delegating Denver #41 of 56: Oregon

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Oregon

Total Number of Delegates: 65 Pledged: 52 Unpledged: 13

How to Recognize an Oregon Delegate: Perhaps Oregonians have made assisted suicide legal in hopes that California transplants will consider it a viable option after their first nine months of living in near-constant rain and complaint. That's because Oregon is a beautiful landscape populated by slackers. Since the opening of the Oregon Trail, the state has always been considered the bright-new-beginning destination of choice for the disgruntled ne'er-do-wells of American mythology. It's the kind of place that is especially attractive to people who are big on dreams and short on details (and cash). To add insult to injury, people have always flocked here faster than job growth, which leaves Oregon with a consistently high unemployment rate. It also explains why the Beaver State ranks high in early retirees, strip clubs, microbreweries, and Ph.D.s who wait tables. For hard-core slackers, dream-busting advances from a lifestyle adaptation to a political agenda. Bitter Oregonians have a tendency to mock all those who stand in the way of their dreams. Consequently, their look will put all the delegates from other states to shame. Females will look sharp but sensible in Portland-based Columbia Sportswear's Heavenly Gauze Multi-Print Skirt and Omni-Dri UPF-50 long-sleeved shirt. Males will wear the Workweek-to-Weekend Tetherow Butte Pants and Grindstone Ridge Shirts. All will sport Beaverton-based Nike athletic shoes by day and Nike subsidiary Cole Haan dress shoes by night.

Famous Oregonians: Disney Studio's Donald Duck creator Carl Banks; voice actor (for Bozo the Clown and Disney's Goofy) Pinto Colvig; Oscar-winning claymation director Will Vinton; Simpsons creator Matt Groening; Erector Set toy inventor Alfred Carlton Gilbert; juvenile writer Beverly Cleary; Nike founders Bill Bowerman and Phil Knight; figure skater turned pro wrestler Tonya Harding; ESPN sportscaster Neil Everett; All in the Family co-star Sally Struthers; WKRP in Cincinnati star Howard Hesseman; Sleater-Kinney singer Corin Tucker; Dandy Warhollers Courtney Taylor-Taylor and Brent "Fathead" De Boer; mother of all anarchists Marie Equi; father of Burning Man Larry Harvey; father of gastronomy James Beard; perpetual Green Party V.P. candidate Winona LaDuke.

Famous Oregon Democrats: Former United States senator Maurine Brown Neuberger; current United States senior senator Ron Wyden; 6th United States Secretary of Transportation and (disgraced) 33rd governor Neil Goldschmidt; 35th governor John Kitzhaber; 36th governor Ted Kulongoski.

Famous Oregonians With Denver Connections: Former United States representative Pat Schroeder; University of Denver director of jazz Malcolm Lynn Baker; Clyfford Still Museum architect Brad Cloepfil: Littleton Public School computer lab teacher Sonja Lahana; Boulder photographer and electrical engineering Ph.D. candidate Charles Dietlein.

State Nickname: The Beaver State, The Hard-Case State, Pacific Wonderland (official); Poor-again, Pour-again, Unspecific Wanderland (unofficial). Population: 3,700,758 Racial Distribution: 83% white, 2% black, 1% Native American, 4% Asian, 10% Hispanic Per Capita Personal Income: $29,340 Unemployment: 9%

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Sean Cronin