Denver Public Schools sure have changed. Gone are the neighborhood schools, with their traditional program of teaching the three Rs. Each has been replaced with a shiny new charter school that offers parents a wide array of options to suit their level of fear. The gun-in-the-backpack drill is just one of the many exciting lessons for gifted lifesaving learners at the new Academy of Emergency Preparedness... Housed in the former Sabin Elementary School building, the students of the Emergency Preparedness Academy receive training in a wide variety of doomsday scenarios. The curriculum includes sporting-event toxic-gas leaks, aircraft water landings and ski-lift-line microburst triage, to name just a few. However, the students are especially fond of Wildlife Wednesdays.
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Each week, a species of urban wildlife in distress (i.e. the clothes-lined elk, the bear with his head stuck in a honey bucket, the meth-addicted raccoon) is let loose in the halls of the charter school. The class seen in the photo above is congratulated by an off-duty Denver Sheriff for its successful subduing of a gun-toting mountain lion. Good work, kids! Next week: Denver School of the Sign Spinning Arts.