Overheated parents of children who attend Denver Public Schools can now cool their calls for air-conditioning. Instead of demanding that the city raise property taxes to fund a $400-million bond issue to install air-conditioning in older schools, panicky parents can now just include a few freezer packs when shopping for "back-to-cool" supplies... As shown in the illustration above, freezer packs can be carried in back packs for a cool walk to school and then placed in the hoodies and pants pockets of scorched scholars as needed to beat the heat.
The 95-degree temperatures at Morey Middle School won't last forever. A couple of overheated weeks could be used to burden the school district with debt and maintenance woes, or used as a learning experience about social expectations, school-year calendars, poison control, climate change and thrifty innovation.
Warning: Some freezer packs that are marked "Non-Toxic" do contain varying amounts of Ethyl Glycol (anti-freeze). Ingesting a small amount may cause symptoms of drunkenness, difficulty standing, acute kidney failure and death. Hot and thirsty children need to be reminded that the blue liquid contained in freezer packs is not a soft drink.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
More from our Kenny Be/Comics archive: "No-Poop-Fairies #2 pencil sharpener keeps kids sharp: Kenny Be's back-to-school supplies."