Overheated parents of children who attend Denver Public Schools can now cool their calls for air-conditioning. Instead of demanding that the city raise property taxes to fund a $400-million bond issue to install air-conditioning in older schools, panicky parents can now just include a few freezer packs when shopping for "back-to-cool" supplies... As shown in the illustration above, freezer packs can be carried in back packs for a cool walk to school and then placed in the hoodies and pants pockets of scorched scholars as needed to beat the heat.
The 95-degree temperatures at Morey Middle School won't last forever. A couple of overheated weeks could be used to burden the school district with debt and maintenance woes, or used as a learning experience about social expectations, school-year calendars, poison control, climate change and thrifty innovation.
Warning: Some freezer packs that are marked "Non-Toxic" do contain varying amounts of Ethyl Glycol (anti-freeze). Ingesting a small amount may cause symptoms of drunkenness, difficulty standing, acute kidney failure and death. Hot and thirsty children need to be reminded that the blue liquid contained in freezer packs is not a soft drink.
More from our Kenny Be/Comics archive: "No-Poop-Fairies #2 pencil sharpener keeps kids sharp: Kenny Be's back-to-school supplies."
Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.