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Denver wins cat-olades for its microchipping tuna-flavored sidewalks

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If you're furry, sleepy and sort of bitchy, Denver is apparently where you want to be. The Mile High City was recently named one of the top 10 cat-friendly cities by the national CATalyst Council, a group dedicated to championing the house cat. (If you fit the above description and you're NOT a house cat, the CATalyst Council has no advice for you. But Denver is probably as good a place as any.)

Also in the top ten: Tampa, Phoenix, San Francisco, Portland, Boston, Seattle, San Diego, Atlanta and Minneapolis. (Ithaca, New York, got an honorable mention.) The council says it based its decisions on data such as cat ownership per capita, level of veterinary care, microchipping and cat-friendly local ordinances.

Those criteria are fine. But they're not very fun. So we figured we'd offer up our own list of stuff-that-would-make-a-cat-prefer-to-live-in-one-city-over-another, as if a cat would even give a care. Our list:

Tuna-flavored sidewalks.

A city populated entirely by humans with laser pointers for fingers.

A ban on all vacuum cleaners.

A city where all dogs are replaced by squirrels. Delicious squirrels.

Grass made of yarn.

Ordinances requiring that all laundry baskets be filled with blankets.

Sprinklers filled with milk.

Me-ow!

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