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Do the Dude

Mike Wheeler, one-half of the Pleasures Dudes, knows what women want and what men need. This week's feature story on the late-night scuz jockeys contained enough Wheeler wisdom to fill a chap book. Not all quotes made the cut, though, so here, for your reading pleasure, are Wheeler's reflections on "stripper rodeo" at a local strip club and his "Rusty Boner" character:

"You know, we rode a number of chicks there. That was cool. I liked to accomplish that. The joke behind that is, that when a guy like me or Fred riding a girl, it's like, 'Hey, maybe I can accomplish what I want.' It's not about anything other than I know this state is a very tough place for guys to get girls. Trust me. And when I [ride girls], the joke is that guys are supposed to say, 'Oh, man, if [Rusty Boner] can do that, maybe I can go up to that girl that I've been afraid to ask out and ask her out.'

"Believe it or not, there's a fucking heart behind a lot of the crazy shit that I do. Because these girls in this state, they have it made, even if they're a big giant pig. Now that blond chick [at Dandy Dan's] is not a pig, she's pretty decent. But there are some monsters out there. Those monsters can get pretty much any dude that they want — but the dudes in this state cannot.

"So I'm out there trying to help men," he concludes. "They're like, 'If this dude can do it, there's no question that we can do it.'" --Jared Jacang Maher.

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