Fox 31's Ron Zappolo struggles to report story of elderly woman squeezing Dick

Kudos to sharp-eyed Denver Post writer David Harsanyi for spotting a hilarious news clip from Channel 31. In it, anchor Ron Zappolo almost but doesn't quite manage not to laugh while reading a story about a naked home intruder in Oregon named Michael Dick, who was arrested after an 88-year-old...

By Michael Roberts

January 5, 2009

Audio By Carbonatix

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Kudos to sharp-eyed Denver Post writer David Harsanyi for spotting a hilarious news clip from Channel 31. In it, anchor Ron Zappolo almost but doesn't quite manage not to laugh while reading a story about a naked home intruder in Oregon named Michael Dick, who was arrested after an 88-year-old woman responded to his flagrant display by clamping his testicles. Click "More" to see the hilarious results, which will either give you a newfound respect for the challenges inherent in being a big-time news reader or prompt a fresh round of Dick jokes. Paging Lewis and Floorwax. -- Michael Roberts

Michael Roberts began his career with Westword in 1990 as music editor. In 1999, he took on a new role, full-time media reporter, as author of a column called The Message. In 2008, he became the lead writer for Westword's news blog, The Latest Word, a position he held until January 2023. Michael continues to freelance for Westword, covering everything from business to sports and the media; he also contributes to Jazziz, a national music magazine. He holds a bachelor's degree from what is now Colorado Mesa University and master's degrees from the University of California, Los Angeles, and Northwestern University.

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