Are you an aspiring stripper? Are you just one super-slutty outfit away from showing up at Shotgun Willie's (to pay for social-work classes, of course)? Then act fast, because for a limited time only, some moron is trying to give away all his stripper-girlfriend's stuff on Craigslist. The ad:
She's not stripping anymore wether she likes it or not!! Tons of free stripper outfits and shoes. Brand new condition. Just pick em up before she gets home. Dress size small and medium. Shoe size 6. Sage Creek Townhomes 128th & Holly. Ivanhoe st.
A few thoughts on this very important story:
1. Does he really believe that owning the appropriate attire is what makes his girlfriend want to be a stripper? That if she suddenly finds herself without anything to wear to work, she's just going to say, "Huh, I can't find my thigh-highs, I guess I'll go back to school"?
2. If you happen to live in the Sage Creek Townhomes, and have always wanted to date a stripper, be on the look out for a depressed-looking girl named after a European automobile manufacturer. This is your moment, friend.
3. I can think of a few things more likely to give you a disease than taking used stripper clothes. But only a few.
4. This ad was posted at 1:48 p.m., which seems to indicate that this particular stripper works the day shift. If so, some advice for the poster: Instead of getting rid of her stuff while she's out, get rid of yours. As in, load it into a pick-up and drive away. Fast. You can take the stripper shoes off the stripper but you can't make her stop dancing naked for money at 2:15 in the afternoon. As they say.
5. I'm not sure if this is just a plot to lure young, aspiring strippers to this guy's shitty townhome, but if it is, I hereby authorize you, dear reader, to go into your garage, grab some sort of heavy gardening tool, meet a local bar for some whiskey and then make your way to Sage Creek. What happens after if up to you guys.
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