The conspiracy theorists must be right: Denver International Airport is a gate to Hell. After all, what other than some diabolical force would deign to upset nerd-tastic musician David Byrne (he of the Talking Heads) as he tried to access his favorite websites while passing time in our fair airport?
As Byrne’s blog notes, he was recently surprised to discover that DIA’s free WiFi service would not allow him to access BoingBoing, a popular technology blog. The reason, suggested the annoying message that appeared on his screen, was that the site in question apparently contained incidental nudity. That’s on odd claim for a geeked-out site like BoingBoing, which is more likely to contain odes to Lego sets and blueprints for steampunk calculators than lots of T and A.
This could be the work of the Masonic aliens that live beneath the facility, or the demonic Mustang statue that was just installed at the airport. But more likely, Byrne suggests, it’s the work of the crappy internet filtering software used at the airport, which apparently considers a shot of Michelangelo’s “David” grounds for a nudity ban. As one of BoingBoing’s editors noted in a New York Times Op-Ed piece, this the same sort of software used by government-sponsored internet service providers in countries like Kuwait, Oman, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, Tunisia and the United Arab Emirates, thereby preventing entire populations from their exercising their God-given right to dork out about iPhones and World of Warcraft. The horror!
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Don’t fret, Mr. Byrne. Westword’s door – and Internet access – is always open for the likes of you. Feel free to stop in and peruse all the nerdy websites you want. Heck, you can even go to all those naughty nudie pages, we don’t care! We’re alternative! Just be sure to wear your big suit. – Joel Warner