A few months back, Jay Cutler's Twitter feed was actually kinda entertaining -- mostly because the person tweeting under Sweet Baby Jay's name was an imposter. Now, however, Cutler has what appears to be a legit Twitter account, and he used it to confirm that he's just signed a hefty contract add-on with his new team, the Chicago Bears: "Signed a 2 year extension. Thanks to the Bears, the McCaskey family and all the Bears fans for the support," he wrote.
Unfortunately, that's as interesting as Cutler's tweets get. Here are his posts in advance of Sunday's game against the Atlanta Falcons:
• "Getting ready for practice. Sunday night football @ ATL."
• "Had a quick practice this morning. Relaxing until we leave tomorrow"
• "Wheels up.. Heading to Atlanta"
• "Sunday Night Football. Getting ready to head to the stadium."
Riveted yet? Then you'll be bowled over by his note after the Bears lost: "Tough game last night. The guys played hard. Watching film and getting ready for Cincy."
As for Kyle Orton, I searched his name and Twitter and was directed to the "King Neckbeard" feed, which features photos of past drunken escapades and posts like these:
• "Four words Denver - I. AM. THE. SHIT. Now let's get whiskeyed up and drink like fucking winners!"
• "People think Tom Brady is cool because he gets to bang Giselle. I say he's a scarf wearing turbo-douche. Grow a neckbeard like a man fagbot"
• "I was voted the most offensive player in the entire AFC? How fucking badass is that?! I'm going to get so much stinky cooch out of this bro!"
• "FYI- from the field, Phillip Rivers passes sound like an old VW Beetle... And they leave a trail of vagina juice"
Yes, King Neckbeard could hardly be a phonier Orton -- but he's pretty damn funny. Looks like fake athletic tweeters are more entertaining than the real thing.
Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.