Keep Westword Free
| Comics |

Jocelyn H. Chilvers is suburban superhero Wheat Ridge Yardivore: Kenny Be's Hip Tip

Wheat Ridge Yardivore Real Name: Jocelyn H. Chilvers; Occupation: Garden Coach; Suburb of operations: Wheat Ridge; Hair: Weeded; Eyes: Watered

Suburban superhero skills: Like all Wheat Ridgers, Yardivore's life force is augmented by art, gardening and constant garden-variety nagging. As a result, she is immune to aging and invulnerable to conventional forms of soulless suburban apathy...

Yardivore is more accomplished in the discipline of projecting art and garden energy than any other resident of Wheat Ridge. While some of this energy can be seen in her yard and home, most of her yard force is aimed at clueless Front Range Gardeners, who she mind-controls through info-packed website blog updates. Her maximum effective range includes complete landscape design services, which allow her to engage in simple telepathic communications with plant forms and to scan the superficial garden misconceptions of any client's mind less adept than her own.

Yardivore is also known to be capable of initiating the year-long creation of the Uni-Life, the collective energy force resulting from the merging of yard energy into winter quilting projects. She does this by taking inspiration from organic forms and interpreting them visually in woven fiber while someone named Jim watches football.

Due to her tendency toward being succinct, it is suspected that Yardivore may have other superhero abilities which have not yet been revealed.

I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.