Film and TV

Keeping America's children safe from Brüno

Since being purchased by the Kerasotes chain, my neighborhood movie theater, the Bowles Crossing 12, at 8035 W. Bowles Avenue in Littleton, has gotten super-strict about R-rated movies. Theater personnel are stationed outside screening-room entrances to prevent underagers from buying tickets to Ice Age and then sneaking into celluloid sin magnets. If a parent or guardian isn't with the impressionable tykes in question -- or if their tickets haven't been marked by box-office employees to designate that an adult gave verbal permission for entry -- they're not getting in.

I got a sample of this policy on Friday, when I contributed to the delinquency of fourteen minors (my sixteen-year-old twin daughters and twelve of their pals) by helping run them past the gauntlet between them and Brüno, the latest cinematic provocation from British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen. There were actually two Kerasotes staffers guarding the door for the 10 p.m. showing, with one woman physically stepping into the opening when she saw our extended faux-brood approach and asking "IDs?" in an extremely dubious tone. At that point, I identified myself as their moral guide, adding, "We're going to have a biblical lecture afterward." The woman wasn't amused. "They'll need one," she declared. "This is really bad."

That's a matter of opinion, of course -- although it sure as hell isn't going to be confused with Finding Nemo. But while the folks at Kerasotes did their best to keep younglings away, their system isn't foolproof. Not when fools like me are around....

KEEP WESTWORD FREE... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts