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Kenny Be's Worst-Case Scenario: Youth coaches changing the game of footbrawl

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Recent news accounts from Eaton, Commerce City and Aurora, demonstrate that social behaviors and youth coaching practices are changing, and all will have a profound impact on the evolution of youth football...

#1. For starters, the customary coin toss, used to determine which team will kick off, is being replaced with a Coach's Ultimate Fighting Match. The winning coach determines if girls will be allowed to play in the game.

Look below to the new team uniforms for girls...

#2. Team uniforms for girls will follow the design standards set by the new Lingerie Football League -- not as objectification, but as a visual code to the acceptable (skin) and unacceptable (clothed) areas of female athlete tackle football contact. #3. Coaches of the losing teams will be allowed to pair up teammates and demand post-game hand-holding laps around the field in an effort to cheer up distraught fans and to help build team spirit.

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Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.


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