Summers in Denver are getting too expensive. It’s not that everything is overpriced — it’s just that there’s too much awesome stuff going on. Concert at Red Rocks? Duh. A game at Coors Field and a visit to Blake Street Tavern afterward? Absolutely. Some brewery is roasting a pig on a rooftop? SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY. Since the second the sun came out after its May hiatus, I’ve been living like a socialite with unlimited funds.
With my wallet running on fumes after the latest gilded weekend, I went to Tru Cannabis Metropolis Medical at 4600 Ironton Street in search of cheap herb. With a rating system and price levels created by Tru Cannabis growers, it was easy for me to decide what might fit my budget. The Chemon G, a strain my budtender said was available at most Tru Cannabis dispensaries, was on the cheap shelf for a little over $10 a gram after tax. It scored an 82/100 by Tru Cannabis growers, and I was a B student most of my life, so it seemed like a slightly above-average match made in heaven.
Chemon G must be relatively new or an in-house strain from Tru, because I’d never heard of it before and found almost nothing on it after further research. The budtender said it was a cross between Lemon G and Chemdawg 4, making it a sativa-leaning hybrid with some indica after-effects. The smell was right on: zesty lemon, terra firma (that’s dirt) and gasoline permeated my living room the second I opened it.
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Although it’s hard to complain about $10 grams, mine was no more than six leafy popcorn buds I could’ve crushed to dust in my hand. The dryness of the buds made my morning Volcano bag — vaped at about 360 degrees — cloudy to the point of resembling smoke, and it hit me so hard, I’m still coughing. Despite the harshness, lemon dominated my taste buds with a distinct rubbery aftertaste. But because of all the THC in the first bag, the herb was sucked dry for any further use. Still, the high kicked me into gear almost like a cold shower, and most of my day’s to-do list was finished before 11 a.m. The comedown crept up after about three hours, but wasn’t strong enough to withstand a cup of coffee.
Too dry and loose for top-shelf status, Chemon G’s position on the bottom at Tru Cannabis is appropriate — but that doesn’t mean it’s a waste of money. The taste was vibrantly tart, and I was sufficiently baked to start an easy day. If I only had $15, two joints of Chemon G and a cheeseburger would make for a satisfying evening until my metabolism failed me.
Strain Gang is our weekly critique of a cannabis strain at a recreational store. For MMJ reviews, go to westword.com/news. Have a suggestion for a strain review? Send it to firstname.lastname@example.org.