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A Newsweek article asks twelve writers a provocative question: What's the worst thing you wrote in 2014? The answer provided by Rolling Stone's Matt Taibbi: "my half of a series of tweets with some angry libertarian from Colorado about the Eric Garner case."
We've got the entire exchange below, and it's a perfect example of how an online conversation can devolve into an agonizingly frustrating time suck.
See also: Tim Tebow: Rolling Stone's Matt Taibbi Reluctantly Predicts Big Things for "Kid Jesus," published September 9, 2010
The spur to the December 13-14 exchange began innocently enough, with Taibbi sharing a goofy Santa Claus photo, accompanied by the hashtag #crushsantacon:
#crushsantacon pic.twitter.com/9dPZLaVJDh
— Matt Taibbi (@mtaibbi) December 13, 2014
To this post, another Twitter user responded like so....
@mtaibbi why would you want to do that ?
— Rich Cacciato (@RichC3232) December 13, 2014
Taibbi countered in good-humored fashion....
@RichC3232 I'm not advocating the actual physical crushing of Santa.
— Matt Taibbi (@mtaibbi) December 13, 2014
...before adding this:
@RichC3232 Actually I would maybe not get plastered in a Santa costume when half of New York is protesting someone's killing.
— Matt Taibbi (@mtaibbi) December 13, 2014
The protests in question concerned the chokehold death of New York's Eric Garner, which was caught on video and spurred demonstrations in Denver and other communities across the country. And before long, a certain 1murman1, who describes himself on his Twitter profile page as "a deficient, delusional, discombobulated, dirtbag, dimwitt; a dull thudded, dilapidated, doofus, Dilbert dipstick, dolt, degenerate neanderthal," moved the chat in a decidedly Garner-related direction with this message:
@mtaibbi @RichC3232 U don't know he was killed--EG had all kinds of medical problems-was morbidly obese (FAT)-He got what he asked for.
— 1murman1 (@1murman1) December 13, 2014
Shortly thereafter, Taibbi took the bait. His next tweet reads:
@1murman1 @RichC3232 It was ruled a homicide. By the medical examiner. You think he coincidentally had a stroke while being choked?
— Matt Taibbi (@mtaibbi) December 13, 2014
Well, maybe not coincidentally, but 1murman1 had a thesis about Garner's size and was determined to expound upon it -- and Taibbi kept answering back throughout the rest of that day and into the next.
Here's the rest of the exchange:
@mtaibbi @RichC3232 His weight could asphyxiated him-throat not damaged-not a choke hold-Homicide, here, means not natural (old age, etc).
— 1murman1 (@1murman1) December 13, 2014
@1murman1 @RichC3232 No, a homicide is a death of one person deliberately caused by another. This really isn't complicated.
— Matt Taibbi (@mtaibbi) December 13, 2014
@mtaibbi @RichC3232 Don't think UR correct-MD's I talk 2 say I'm correct-Even so, who deliberately caused his death-NO throat damage-obese.
— 1murman1 (@1murman1) December 14, 2014
@1murman1 @RichC3232 I'm not correct about the definition of a homicide?
— Matt Taibbi (@mtaibbi) December 14, 2014
@mtaibbi @RichC3232 Medical definitions aren't "common" definitions as is in most disciplines-My Docs say I'm correct so who am I 2 believe?
— 1murman1 (@1murman1) December 14, 2014
@jasayeed @1murman1 @RichC3232 Yes, but in this case it means without question that Pantaleo caused Garner's death... (1/2)
— Matt Taibbi (@mtaibbi) December 14, 2014
@mtaibbi @jasayeed @RichC3232 Dude, UR just wrong-Grand jury disagrees w/U, video disagrees-nothing supports U & I can't change UR mind
— 1murman1 (@1murman1) December 14, 2014
@1murman1 @jasayeed @RichC3232 The grand jury ruled he was not criminally responsible, not that he didn't cause Garner's death.
— Matt Taibbi (@mtaibbi) December 14, 2014
@mtaibbi @jasayeed @RichC3232 AND they would have said he caused it if they believe that-Just stop--nothing I say will change UR mind.
— 1murman1 (@1murman1) December 14, 2014
@1murman1 You don't understand either the law or the definition of homicide. You can have homicide without a crime. This was ruled homicide.
— Matt Taibbi (@mtaibbi) December 14, 2014
@mtaibbi That is true-But homicide, in this case means he didn't die of natural causes-but then how do U explain the heart attack in Ambul
— 1murman1 (@1murman1) December 14, 2014
@1murman1 if I hit you on the head and you die of an aneurysm in the ambulance, it's the same thing: homicide.
— Matt Taibbi (@mtaibbi) December 14, 2014
@mtaibbi If I already had the aneurysm and you hit me, you contributed,-the evidence says the guys fatness and ill health killed him.
— 1murman1 (@1murman1) December 14, 2014
@1murman1 I can't believe I'm seriously arguing with someone who believes EG died of "fatness" while police coincidentally assaulted him.
— Matt Taibbi (@mtaibbi) December 14, 2014
@1murman1 Do you know what felony murder is?
— Matt Taibbi (@mtaibbi) December 14, 2014
@mtaibbi I keep telling U 2 stop but U won't-Conducting an arrest is not an assault-If U think his health had nothing 2 do w/it, can't help
— 1murman1 (@1murman1) December 14, 2014
@mtaibbi Probably diff in every state-Grand jury didn't think it was, didn't indict the cop--AND I can't believe I'm defending cops-hate 'em
— 1murman1 (@1murman1) December 14, 2014
@1murman1 It doesn't matter what his health situation was. If the arm pressure is the triggering/predicate act, it's homicide.
— Matt Taibbi (@mtaibbi) December 14, 2014
@1murman1 The grand jury agreed with you that the arrest was not criminal. The ME disagreed with you and ruled Pantaleo caused his death...
— Matt Taibbi (@mtaibbi) December 14, 2014
@mtaibbi Don't think U can say arm pressure did anything-no damage in evidence-Might be able 2 say "stress" caused a heart attack, not a Doc
— 1murman1 (@1murman1) December 14, 2014
Finally, Taibbi muted himself -- and in retrospect, he clearly regrets chasing 1murman1 down the Twitter rabbit hole.
"I spent like nine hours trying to convince the guy it didn't matter that Garner had a weight problem," he told Newsweek. "People from all over were telling me I was making a fool of myself but I couldn't let it go. I was getting all Jack McCoy on the guy, it was absurd.
"Social media is really dangerous," he added. "You know how they have those breathalyzer machines that they hook up to cars, where you have to prove you're sober before the ignition turns over? They should have something like that for Twitter, where you have to watch a rap video in between each tweet or something, to prove that you've actually thought about what you're about to say."
Good idea -- but if you want to avoid getting worked up over Garner's death, maybe you should steer clear of this one....
Send your story tips to the author, Michael Roberts.
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