Sunshine Megatron, the Donald Trump of online T-shirt sales (if Donald Trump were slightly mad, changed his name to that of a gay robot and didn't have any furniture in his house), is still considering whether or not to stay in Denver after moving here on a whim several months ago. To help convince him to stay, we've been soliciting suggestions from readers about things he could do in Denver and Colorado that would demonstrate to him that our environs aren't a craphole. Here are the latest proposals:
In the "It takes one to know one" category:
If they're still doing it, Freak Train at the Bug Theater on the last Monday of the month. Starts at 8 p.m. but you have to get there early. Beyond description, but it sounds like it would be right up Sunshine's alley for the unusual in entertainment.
In the "Behold the power of the Interweb!" category:
A Denver-based T-shirt website could really work because I think no matter what, people have really deep emotions about Denver. In fact, you could open two, one for lovers and one for haters: DenverMakesMeFeelLikeAFrozenTurd.com, ICouldntLiveAnywhereElse.org, Cowtown.edu, ICameOnVacationAndImStillHere.net, TheGrassWasGreenerTillAllTheCaliforniansMovedToDenverInThe90s.com, BadAltitude.com
In the "This wasn't really a suggestion for Sunshine Megatron, just a random poem we recently received that we didn't know what else to do with it" category:
D Town, Make it a Green Town
Good ol D Town let em hear it Thief throwin a fit over petty shit Just cause we smoke a little green to bring some peace of mind in a time of wars and lies cries and hate to that we say spark it up dark and light fight with words signs and votes It's fine to toke we must have hope that one day we'll have legal bags To everyone out there who cares for fair help clean the air Take the bus Ride the lightrail To smoke we must be loud and not fail To vote and sail over false tales you know what I mean It's their scheme we're made to use nature so don't let nature use us CHANGE
Is that the best you can do? If so, Mr. Megatron will surely soon be shining his lordly robotic light on some other municipality. We can't let that happen. Post your suggestions for Sunshine below, or mail them to firstname.lastname@example.org. And remember, we're made to use Sunshine, so don't let Sunshine use us. CHANGE. -- Joel Warner
Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.