My Gift to You, Rockies Fans

What could be more surprising than the Rockies being in the World Series? Paris Hilton joining a nunnery? O.J. Simpson admitting that he not only killed his wife but also JonBenet Ramsey? Dick Cheney showing up at a session of Congress wearing a turban?

Whatever your answer, the Rockies made it -- and in my gratitude and glee, I plan to make a significant personal sacrifice in an effort to keep this train on the rails. To whit: I will not attend a World Series game.

You see, the only Rockies contest I've attended in the past month was the September 28 faceoff against the Arizona Diamondbacks -- their only loss in the last 22 games. In some ways, this distinction makes me feel sorta special. After all, literally thousands of people have seen the Rockies triumph lately, but I'm among the rare few who saw them come up short. Little did I know, however, that I'd be viewed as the equivalent of Typhoid Mary among Rockies boosters in my circle. When the Rockies made the playoffs, I considered getting tickets until I mentioned my presence at the aforementioned matchup to my Westword colleague, Sean Cronin. Upon hearing my tale of woe, he glared at me with steely resolve and intoned, "You're not going."

One of this era's greatest philosophers, Stevie Wonder, once said, "Superstition ain't the way," and he couldn't be more correct. Still, my decision to tempt fate in this instance would fill those around me -- and, by association, Rockies Nation as a whole -- with incalcuable anxiety. And with an impending eight-day layoff, no one needs any more distractions.

So here is my pledge: Because I care so much about you, the typical Rockies lover, I will watch the World Series games on TV, where I've seen them win plenty, and not in Coors Field. You're welcome. -- Michael Roberts

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts