No Happy Ending for David Warmack's Scheme to Review Massage Parlors

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Not every Schmuck of the Week is a moron, as David Warmack demonstrates.

According to federal investigators, Warmack came up with a clever scheme to "review" massage parlors on a now-defunct website dubbed SoWet.com — and his payments allegedly included cash as well as "services" from the women who worked there. Problem is, the feds say their idea of a nice rubdown strayed well below the belt...and went beyond what's legal.

Warmack appears to be cocky, as it were. When SoWet.com's plug was pulled last year, he defiantly launched a very similar site, 5280Spas.com, which remains online, sort of. But he'll presumably have a tough time administering it, since he's been charged with at least twenty prostitution-related counts.

Not that Warmack seems particularly embarrassed by the negative attention directed at SoWet.com. At this writing, his Facebook page remains accessible under the name Rt Sowet, complete with flamboyant photos like this one....
...and this one:
Given his costume above, it's no surprise that the latest posts on the site relate to energy packs for the online game Mafia Wars.

The U.S. Attorneys Office isn't playing around, however. The feds have apparently been on Warmack's trail for the better part of two years, with the first public indication being the June 2013 shutdown of a massage parlor in Golden that he was paid to hype. Its name: Happy Feet.

Feet seemingly weren't the only body parts getting happy: Law enforcers dubbed the business a front for prostitution.
Not long thereafter, investigators turned their attentions to SoWet.com. According to the U.S. Attorney's Office, the site "promoted and facilitated prostitution that was taking place at various massage parlors across metro Denver."

The business model? Warmack is said to have charged massage parlor owners for advertising on his website, which included a forum for customers to discuss their favorite touchy-feely spots, and supposedly got other compensation, too, including "unlawful sexual services in exchange for writing a review of the parlor and the specific prostitute that he posted on his site."

He also is accused of promoting the businesses on websites such as Backpage.com, a site once associated with Westword's former parent company; that relationship ended several years ago.

Eventually, the feds pulled the plug on SoWet.com — but rather than quietly going away, Warmack relaunched under the 5280Spas.com name and defiantly posting the following declaration:
In addition, he created a 5280Spas.com Twitter account that also remains online at this writing. Here's one tweet shared after the SoWet.com shutdown....

...and another....

Visit the forum, however, and aside from clickable ads for massage parlors featuring images like this....
...there's a message that reads: "These forums are currently closed for for the time being. Gotta get a few things taken care of."

Instead, the U.S. Attorney's Office took care of Warmack. He's now been indicted on twenty counts pertaining to Use of a Facility in Interstate Commerce to Promote a Business Enterprise Involving Prostitution. Each one could net him five years in federal prison and a $250,000 fine.

He's expected to be arraigned at 10 a.m. today. We doubt the experience will rub him the right way.

Here's a CBS4 report about Warmack's case.

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